Temper

noun

1. a person's state of mind seen in terms of their being angry or calm."he rushed out in a very bad temper"


2. the degree of hardness and elasticity in steel or other metal."the blade rapidly heats up and the metal loses its temper"


verb

1. improve the hardness and elasticity of (steel or other metal) by reheating and then cooling it."the way a smith would temper a sword"


2. act as a neutralizing or counterbalancing force to (something)



It’s like watching a bad reality show, but it’s real life. It’s like seeing a mirror of my past looking through the lens of where I am now. Taking a closer look at a simple word, a word that typically describes all the anger, hurt, unbridled emotions that belch for when we’re upset, tired, hungry or just an ass.

Temper.

I think most of us think of the noun definition first. “That person has a temper! I don’t like their temperament. I’m worried about how they will react” (temper).

And as I’ve sat on the sidelines and watched, actually more listened to the stories of the unraveling of one person’s insides, I have had compassion, disdain, even a bit of hurt because I’ve known that place. 

To stay in that version of the word is typically damaging. Sure there’s the positive side, but most of us may not think about having an even temper.

Then we move to the verb. 

Strengthening of resolve. Improving the strength, flexibility of something. Balancing.

Being able to walk through the fire with some semblance of dignity and holding your head up high while the world is thrashing at you, telling you just how ‘bad’ you are. 

That’s a temper I want. I want to be able to stand with my head held high and not lash out at my enemy. Sure, I’m going to express where I am to people that are close to me. But there’s no reason to go about bashing people who are just as hurt as I am inside. There’s a resolve that comes from digging down and knowing that God‘s got this, even when I don’t, and I just need to show grace and love even in the midst of being slapped in the face. Yep, I said ‘in the midst of being slapped in the face’. Now honestly, am I gonna turn the other cheek? Probably, after I smack them back with my words. I’m human. I’m not above. I just don’t want that to be the ‘go to’.

Do I take every little feeling I have inside and sling it back at those around me? I’m trying not to. 

As I’ve walked through this phase of my life, I’ve found that life is hard. I can’t do it alone. I met with a group of people this morning that love me as I am, who accept me as the broken man who is trying real damn hard. And they’ve helped me express where I am and walk through the times where my emotions are out of kilter, when I’m sad, depressed, or even when I’m just a little too giddy. lol Yes, there have been times in my past where I have been called that. Believe it or not!

So the temper that I want to continue to work on is that of patience, kindness, long suffering, lack of pride, humility. 

Wonder where that will take me? 

And as for the reality show that I’ve been able to watch, I think it’s going to wind down at some point. Anger is hot and it burns really bright, but it can’t sustain. It starts to eat at your insides and at some point it just blows up in its own face. I don’t need that, but I do know that I will try to be a friend for the person who’s going through it. Listening. Then sharing my own experience, strength and hope.

~ Peace

The Burtle 

Truth

Truth or fiction.

Honesty or lies.

It’s funny how sometimes the loudest voice is what we hear. How the lies screamed at the top of someone’s lungs can dwarf the truth being whispered on the wind. How we can look at something and see exactly what it is and have someone try to tell us that it’s not that, to change the picture. To make it look like a lie is the truth. To make it look like something that is not healthy is healthy.

The narrative is shifted from one of honesty and integrity to a barrage of insults and slurs meant to make the truth seem irrelevant.

We get to choose. Choose to live in light and truth or to live in darkness surrounded by lies.

And sometimes it’s not even about lying, sometimes it’s just hiding in the darkness. Knowing that surely if it’s not said it’s not a lie.

Truth is hard. To walk in truth means to walk the narrow gate. It means to take what is ahead of us, what is around us and what we’ve walked through already, our past, and to continue to navigate through the flaming arrows, the insults, the hurts and still try to hold our head up as we seek Honesty.

That means doing the hard things. There’s a author recently who wrote a book about the 2%. Those who are willing to do the hard things. Sometimes the hard things just seem impossible, like we would never be able to walk through them. They may lead to a lot harder path ahead, but they also lead to freedom. The path to freedom is not one of ‘Easy’. It takes stepping outside of ourselves and realizing that some things we have to do just are not comfortable. But if we want to see the clear blue skies on the other side of the horizon, we have to walk through the mess. And sometimes there’s a shitty mess in front of us - big donkey pile of mess.

Over and over, whether it be through science, the philosophers, biblical faith, there is the search for truth. Often times the truth is hidden behind the lies. Behind the misdirections and bloated statements from hurt souls - hidden by oppressive mentalities. But the truth is still there. It is still evident. It is still powerful and it is still necessary.

Truth will set you free. 

Just like when you’re walking a path late at night, you would never go without a flashlight, walking this path of life without truth is like walking blind. You may think you know where you’re going, but eventually you might just step off the edge of the cliff. Falling into the abyss.

Seek truth - even if it’s hard. I think it was probably pretty hard to look out on the people he loved and see them spitting at him, taunting him all the way to the tree…

Breathe -

And find peace hidden amidst the lies. Truth in the storm.

~ Peace

The Burtle

The Noble Man

A rarity.

Possibly a diamond in the rough.

Worthy of a woman’s love.

He is trusted,

He provides for his family.

He protects and doesn’t bring harm upon those he loves.

He works a job - is not lazy or a burden on others.

He is wise with what he has been provided.

He is kind.

Finds no pleasure in doing harm.

He loves others.

In the hard times, he trusts that the hard work already performed will see his family through.

He trusts that God will cover him.

He seeks the wisdom of others.

He believes in community.

He is not proud.

He ‘is clothed with strength and dignity; 

…can laugh at the days to come. 

…speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on his tongue. 

…watches over the affairs of the household and does not eat the bread of idleness.’

His family respects him.

“Many… do noble things, but his humilty surpass them all.”

‘Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a MAN who fears the Lord is to be praised.’

Adapted from ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31‬:‭10‬-31

“A wife of noble character”

05/14/24

clc

Tend

I don’t know that I always understand the concept or maybe I haven’t understood it until now, but I do know that there is purpose to caretaking, watching-over, guiding, tending. 

I spent the last several days at a monastery in Alabama. No, I haven’t gone off the deep end fully and decided to become a monk, though I have toyed with the idea in the past. What I did do was walk a lot, pray, write, spent time with a friend, played music and just got away from my normal here in Atlanta.

I feel I’ve been given a lot of direction over the last several years and in the last couple of months it’s been even more pointed. What do I want to be? Well, maybe I just need to be that. Is it so hard to simply make decisions that lead toward the man I might already be, just haven’t given myself the credit for being yet?

Along this path I’ve been asked to look at myself again, not in the scathing way I would’ve done in the past, but instead to lovingly look at who I am and peel back layers that need to be shed while also embracing who I am deeper inside. 

This has come about through my continued recovery journey, through dear friends that have made me think about things, through a crazy pastor in Alabama and a simple nudging at my heart towards something new. 

Words like ‘purity’, ‘conscience’, ‘steadfastness’… and over this last weekend ‘tend’.

What does that even mean? To tend the soil? To tend to a flock of sheep? 

Tend 

Tender

Tenderness

Attend

What do these all have in common? They take time. It takes attention and watching, listening - allowing things to grow. 

Gentle, but also firm. Compassionate.

All the things that I feel like have guided my path. How do I show these to others? How do I walk my journey with my head held high while also stopping along the way and talking, learning, growing myself and also growing relationships?

I don’t know the answer. But I know that the questions that I ask often lead me to experiences, people, journeys that take me to exotic lands like Cullman, Alabama. 

As I left there earlier today, I realized that there were things that had changed in my life over the last several weeks that I never expected. Some of them challenges I never thought I would face. And then there’s the simple matter of planting a seed, tending it with care and watching it grow.

~ Peace

The Burtle

“So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus *said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He *said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He *said to him, “Tend My lambs.”

John‬ ‭21‬:‭15‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

If

If I could go back to my younger self, I would tell myself to be patient, to listen more, to try to understand the bigger picture and not be so quick to jump to conclusions or jump to the next thing… But to give situations time to grow and to move forward. 

I would tell myself that you need people, and those are gonna be more important than any accomplishment you ever make. The ones that you meet for a moment or the ones that you keep for a lifetime. I would look at myself and go “Chad, You need to really pray this through. Chad, you need to walk through this.” I think my current life over the last 4 + years has definitely been more like this. More walking through, more trying to listen, more trying to be willing and open to what God has. 

If I could tell my younger self one last thing it would be, “it’s gonna be okay. It’s okay. 

It’s okay.”

“You are good enough, you are smart enough and gosh darn it… People might just like you!”

02/15/25

clc

~ Peace

The Burtle

https://youtu.be/6ldAQ6Rh5ZI?si=f7a3Gp2G4mbRWyhV

February 14, 2025

Someday someone’s gonna recognize the man who I am. The man who loves God, struggles with life and still tries… I try. The sarcastic, witty, sensitive asshole who just loves people and wants to help. Funny thing is though, the person who needs to see that first is me. And that’s a journey that I am working through. I work on it every day.

This morning I sent an apology/thank you text to a man who I don’t know very well. We had a tense conversation several days ago and I realize that I still need to make sure that I keep my side of the street clean. That when something comes up - and I have not been the better version of me – that I own it, apologize and look to do it better next time. I hope that makes sense. This is kind of a shotgun blog written in haste as I’m heading into work. Because there’re some things on my mind.

I’m so blessed with what God has given me. So very thankful. And as I woke up at 4 AM with a super killer headache, nauseous and just pounding, I’m still trying to do the day. One step at a time. 

There’s been some new things come up that I’m praying about. Some old things that I’m letting go. All in all, it’s a beautiful chilly Friday. And maybe as most of the world is celebrating a fabricated holiday for couples made by Hallmark and candy manufacturers… I’m just so thankful that God loves me.

And I love me. Not that I don’t beat the crap out of myself sometimes - but again, progress not perfection! 

So as I looked this morning up at the stars well before sunrise, even as my head was pounding, looking Westward… I breathed and started my day. 

I have a date this evening with Drew Holcomb and his music at symphony hall. Guess that’s not the worst way to fake celebrate the day!

Thank you!

Anyone who reads this, anyone who is a part of my life. And thank you, God. For everything.

~ Peace

The Burtle

Crossing Over

There is something about crossing over, whether it be a magnificently built bridge, a natural stone path over a creek, a Red Sea, a rope bridge over a canyon or a small row boat filled with two boys out adventuring. The symbolic and the physical moving over to a place that we can’t reach without some type of help.

And while often times it’s just to get to the other side, sometimes it’s escaping the past, getting to safety on another shore, exploring a new land or even just the need to find something new in our lives.

Crossing over matters. It’s biblical, it’s philosophical, it’s damn well part of Joseph Campbell’s ‘The Hero’s Journey’. Why do I always come back to that? Because it’s life. We do have a journey. We do have this Hero inside us - and I’m not talking about Hercules or Captain America or Spider-Man like I watched with my son this last weekend. But there is a hero inside us that has to go on a journey. Otherwise we get stuck in the mud.

And the journey, it may be crossing over the river Styx, it may be to go rescue some damsel in distress, or a guy in distress - let’s be real, a lot of women are a lot stronger than some of us men! It could be to start a new life. It could be simply walking through the sadness and the hurts that still prick at times.

Regardless, we have a journey. What do you need to cross over today? What are you working towards? Is it a long drawbridge that you have to time it just right to get over, is it the rope bridge from Indiana Jones that you know the enemy is going cut as soon as they can while you’re on top of it, or is it a little dinghy that you are frantically rowing to get across to freedom… to breath, to life?

I don’t know your journey, but I hope you’re on it. I hope your feet are planted firmly in the knowledge that you can do this. That even when it gets hard, you can do this. There’s help. There’s a village around you if you want it. There’s people who do care in this world. There’s hope. It may be in your faith, it may be in a social structure, a wise teaching - but there is hope. I have to believe that. Otherwise, why are we here? Why are we here?

I hope you take that next step.

And cross over that bridge.

~ Peace

The Burtle