Tend

I don’t know that I always understand the concept or maybe I haven’t understood it until now, but I do know that there is purpose to caretaking, watching-over, guiding, tending. 

I spent the last several days at a monastery in Alabama. No, I haven’t gone off the deep end fully and decided to become a monk, though I have toyed with the idea in the past. What I did do was walk a lot, pray, write, spent time with a friend, played music and just got away from my normal here in Atlanta.

I feel I’ve been given a lot of direction over the last several years and in the last couple of months it’s been even more pointed. What do I want to be? Well, maybe I just need to be that. Is it so hard to simply make decisions that lead toward the man I might already be, just haven’t given myself the credit for being yet?

Along this path I’ve been asked to look at myself again, not in the scathing way I would’ve done in the past, but instead to lovingly look at who I am and peel back layers that need to be shed while also embracing who I am deeper inside. 

This has come about through my continued recovery journey, through dear friends that have made me think about things, through a crazy pastor in Alabama and a simple nudging at my heart towards something new. 

Words like ‘purity’, ‘conscience’, ‘steadfastness’… and over this last weekend ‘tend’.

What does that even mean? To tend the soil? To tend to a flock of sheep? 

Tend 

Tender

Tenderness

Attend

What do these all have in common? They take time. It takes attention and watching, listening - allowing things to grow. 

Gentle, but also firm. Compassionate.

All the things that I feel like have guided my path. How do I show these to others? How do I walk my journey with my head held high while also stopping along the way and talking, learning, growing myself and also growing relationships?

I don’t know the answer. But I know that the questions that I ask often lead me to experiences, people, journeys that take me to exotic lands like Cullman, Alabama. 

As I left there earlier today, I realized that there were things that had changed in my life over the last several weeks that I never expected. Some of them challenges I never thought I would face. And then there’s the simple matter of planting a seed, tending it with care and watching it grow.

~ Peace

The Burtle

“So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus *said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He *said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He *said to him, “Tend My lambs.”

John‬ ‭21‬:‭15‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬