A matter of Time

It’s a matter of time.

I met them at a Christmas party just over a year ago. The conversation was several older men discussing life and generalities and it floated to the fact that I worked at the time for a large window and door company. There were a couple more specific questions and this new gentleman asked me about a storm door. What would I get, where would I get it?

Just a couple of weeks later I found myself at his house with his wife installing the door. What I didn’t realize was he was an engineer, and that he would be watching every step of the process. Here’s the thing, I’m a creative type who went into carpentry late, not an engineer or a fully apprenticed trade school carpenter.  I know what I’m doing, I just look at it from a different perspective and often times walk-through things by having to learn. What I thought it was going to be a frustrating experience became a learning experience for me, but also what I believe was a bonding experience for us.

It took me a couple days to do that door, mainly because I had to build it out and I wanted to make sure it was done as best as possible for both my specifications and his satisfaction.

Every time I go to their house I look at that door and make sure that it hasn’t fallen apart. <cringe>  Slightly as a joke, but also because I want to make sure that the work I’ve done honors them.

Fast forward to this last weekend, after a year of visiting them when I can - always trying to stay in touch. Introducing them to my girlfriend/soon to be more… I’m at their house on a very hot day after loading a trailer to move out of state. They asked me specifically to come by and see them and of course I wanted to, but I was tired. I actually wanted to just get on the road and end a frustrating day. Sometimes when we plan things we have to depend on others and well, that’s not always the easiest thing. There had been a huge letdown earlier that morning from one of my oldest friends, and though I tried to understand, I was angry, hot, tired, spirit-drained.

I walked in and after just a few minutes this gentleman tells me he has something for me. I won’t lie and say that it wasn’t what I secretly hoped for. From the very first day I walked into their house I have been in enamored by all of the beautiful antique clocks that cover the walls, nooks and crannies, everywhere. Oh, I wanted one. But I would’ve never asked. And honestly it was a joy to always get to look at them and be fascinated. Definitely not because I’m technical, but I can appreciate them - the beauty and age and craftsmanship that comes with each.

He walked me around to the counter where underneath a small covering was one of the most beautiful little clocks. I’ve spent a couple hours since looking up information about this clock. But it really comes down to time.

Not just time that the clock registers, but time spent caring for and learning about other others.

I know a good bit about this couple, not everything. I know, Madison, Alabama, Auburn University, aircraft and clocks, medical procedures, and a little dog. I know that I have been so grateful to have been able to change some lightbulbs, move groceries, clean off a deck. And more than anything else I’ve learned to cherish a couple that I didn’t even know a year ago.

I plan on staying in touch. I also plan on cherishing that clock - making sure I take care of it. Because it isn’t about the clock. It’s about the love.

 ~ Peace 

The Burtle

Freebird

“If I leave here tomorrow

Would you still remember me?

For I must be traveling on now

'Cause there's too many places I've got to see”

It’s a song of the South. Possibly the southern national anthem if you really wanna get into it, by a group that spent a lifetime traveling and making music their own way; through deep rooted beginnings, tragedy, departures, success and a legacy that still plays on through whatever medium you listen to your music on.

Lynyrd Skynyrd.

And while I cannot say that I am their greatest fan, I am a son of the south. An educated white liberal Christian who never has seemed to fit in 100%, but knows my roots and knows who I am finally after 50+ years!

‘If I leave here tomorrow…’ well that’s gonna happen. Not tomorrow, but in the near future - the next days even. Taking on a new adventure and this time taking the time to plan it out and make sure that it at least has the inklings of success instead of running across the country like I did several years ago just to “do the right thing” - when I wasn’t even sure what the right thing was.

It’s crazy. And at the same time it makes perfect sense. Where else would I go but to the place I feel like I can do life, work, wake up next to someone I love and though not free in the sense of my hippy spirit reminiscent of the 60s and 70s, to be free in the ways that I can be. Which is by following my heart, which hurts sometimes, and just pressing forward into the next day.

“Would you still remember me?”

In the past, I’ve left quite a path of destruction that I’m sure many people remember. But I also left some good. And in my more recent history it has been about making sure that I leave a positive reflection of who I am and what I believe when I’m dealing with others - whether it be through work or social interactions or in this place that we try to hold God in at times. 

Man, those of you at Burnt Hickory have been so important! My class. In ways you may never know, you’ve guided and loved and shown me that I’m ok in a place where I really don’t like being most of the time.

If you know me, really know me I hope you realize how important you people are to me. Though I can happily do life alone as a hermit at times, I do want there to be people who see me for who I am. Not for the mixed up child of the church, but for the man of faith that I truly strive to be every day. And I think you’ve seen me.

I love you all!

Through my faith I’m free to be who I am, not chained or shackled but open and ready to see what comes next. 

In his hands!

~ Peace 

The Burtle

Cold of Winter

Winter sucks. The final season of the life cycle. Cold, bitter, lifeless - at least on the surface.

Cold winds blow and the comfort of heat is always a flicker away from being extinguished.

Life comes to a close. Often through time spent and a life lived, but other times it ends before the first sapling even has a chance to experience sunlight.

We don’t know when and I sure can’t fathom the way the ruler of the universe operates, but death comes.

In this case before even taking a breath.

So the sting of winter might be just a little deeper. A child isn’t born, at least not a functioning child that gets to run and play and live and learn and grow. But that doesn’t mean there’s not love there. It doesn’t mean that there’s not significance.

There’s a soul there. One we won’t get to experience. A soul that maybe just didn’t need to be here and already had its ticket to someplace better. Hopefully a heaven full of frolicking and playing and all the stuff kids do down here.

My friend is hurting. His wife just lost their little baby boy. All I could say was “I’m sorry”, but it doesn’t seem enough. How do you tell him that it’s okay? I don’t. I just told him I’m here if he needs me.

And that little soul, I’m glad to know that there’s something bigger up there. That in the dark of winter, on one of the coldest days I’ve felt in a while, there’s a little warmth knowing that he’s home.

Spring will come, and cold outside will turn into the wet mushiness of life.  But not without a moment taken (at least by me) to look at one of those first flowers and say a whispered prayer.

~ Peace

The Burtle