Joy in Sorrow

Beauty from ashes…

I’m not really sure why it hit me so hard. I wasn’t the closest to him. In fact, I hadn’t talked to him on the phone in a couple of months. I’d seen him at gatherings, but never had much of a conversation since the last one we had around November of last year.

Then suddenly.  Gone.

This morning I cried the cry I had been holding on to for a good month.  Not just tearing up, but the guttural, snotty, tsunami cry that physically hurt as much as it did emotionally.   And maybe that was why it hit so hard.  I needed the example of another life lived.

I’m not here to tell his story.  In fact, I didn’t know it well.  But I know he practiced a set of beliefs that I too have found life in.  Finding the ability to be present amidst the storms that we all face.  

And there is joy.  Tucked away in the loss and not understanding is knowing that there is no more pain.  That there is no more sorrow - except for what those of us left here hold in this moment.  In the moments we reflect on life.  Death.  The path we all have to trod.

I look at my feet.  I’m thankful for being able to be present in the pain.  I’m grateful for Gary and all the others who have shown that we don’t stop living, even when we’re faced with death.

There is joy in sorrow.  There is ‘beauty from ashes’.  There remains a hope for something more than just the day to day; if we decide we want what he had, and are willing to go to any lengths to get it.

Thank you Gary.  And for all the ones that are also grieving tonight.  

Prayers for us all.

~ Peace

The Burtle