ROCKETMAN

Started watching the biopic 'Rocketman' - the story of Sir Elton John.  Musician.  Man.  More.  And I started thinking about change. 

Here is a man that, whether you like him, care for his music, lifestyle - is the epitome of what we all face each and every day.  Change.  Realizing who we really are.  Finding ourselves amidst the voices that have been telling us what we 'ought' to be.  Wanting more...

Life changes.  Sure my core might not change much, but my hairline, girth, aches and pains from age CHANGE.  My political and philosophical views change.  I change.  I've evolved much in 50 years.  I've seen more than I care to share on this page.  I've hurt.  Loved.  Lost.  And Changed.

I was born to be a middle-class white child who had no real fears.  I had to change and adapt to survive the damage done and the onslaught of fears that came from abuse.  I changed and hid inside a pseudo-world filled with faith promises and dark corners of despair.  I've changed my mind.  Changed my hairstyle; my attire.  Changed location.

Adaptation can be survival, but it can also be rebirth.  Reginald Kenneth Dwight was born in the United Kingdom in 1947.  He was special.  Different.  Talented.  Misunderstood.  And he could have just been "Reggie" and the world might not have been blessed with "Candle in the Wind", "The Bitch is Back", "Your Song" and countless others.  He shed the name and became who he was inside - Elton Hercules John.  To shed the past isn't always turning our back on it fully.  It can be an awakening into where that journey takes a right turn (the next right turn) into the path that lay ahead.

Change.  It's hard.  It's sometimes lonely, "it's lonely out in space".  We drift in a sea of our own worries, schedules, rituals and routines.  Our kid's activities, Netflix binging, staying up late out of fear for the workday that will come.

Relationships change.  My mentor told me a while back, "relationships either end or change".  I balked at this for a bit, then realized how true it was.  I lost the person I thought was the perfect person for me.  It ended.  I was torn.  But in retrospect, it was toxic.  We were toxic.  My relationship with my father, though often strained in the past has changed.  I am thankful for that change, even in the light of the circumstances that surrounded it, the loss of my mother.  Every day I try to figure out new ways to change the relationship I have with my youngest son.  He's 6 and I continually have to find new ways to connect; for him to know that dad is present even though we're worlds apart.

I change.  I've grown sullen in some areas.  I want more - a relationship that CAN change, grow.  Yet, I wait on God (trying to be patient) and hope in his plan.  I pray for the day I can sit, grow, change with someone... like Elton's words below.

"It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside

I'm not one of those who can easily hide

I don't have much money, but, boy, if I did

I'd buy a big house where we both could live

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple, but now that it's done

I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world"

~ Elton John/Bernie Taupin

Alone, in outer space or inside the world of our mind is a scary place to be.  Breathe in the change that might be as simple as just opening up to another human being.  Look them in the eye and say...

(you fill in the blank)

~ Peace

The Burtle

"And I think it's gonna be a long, long time

'Till touch down brings me round again to find

I'm not the man they think I am at home

Oh, no, no, no

I'm a Rocketman

Rocketman burning out his fuse up here alone"

~ Elton John/Bernie Taupin