my Feet

"I was told to look at my feet.

They brought me where I am (the past), will take me where I’m going (the future), and they keep me in the present, if I just look at them.

And breathe."

When things start spinning around inside my head, I sit, I breathe deep and I take this advice.  It’s proven over and over to be the simplest way to ground myself.  To ‘root’ myself back in the truth (and God and everyone else knows I need to be Well Rooted!!!!)

I know my past; it’s mine.  I’ve lived it, and regardless of how hard it is, it remains in the past.  Sometimes grounding me and other times making me ‘boo-hoo’ about the place I’m currently in.  My past can reminisce like the tales my grandparents and mom would often tell about people I really didn’t know.  And that’s where I’m at.  I know my core, my soul, but the man who lived most of the 40 years before now is mostly a shadow that I recognize, but have no desire to emulate.

The future - well, I think this one unsettles me more than the past most days.  Future TRIPPING is exactly that - a BAD TRIP down a road I may never actually travel.  I don’t know the future.  Can’t tell it, predict it any more than Ken Cook could predict the weather back in his days on Channel 5 in Atlanta.  I know NOW (the present).  I know where I am.  Sure I have thoughts, hopes, even dreams of a future.  But in reality, the path ahead of me is ever evolving and honestly I try to turn it over anytime I get ahead of myself.  Who do I turn it over to?  Well, God.  That’s my source, my guide, my stronghold.  

Never in a million years did I think I would be a carpenter, and at 50!  I was a *blank* *blank* music teacher for most of the past 20 years before Covid.  And this new path was started a long time ago.  Tinkering with musical instruments in high school and college.  Restaining old furniture.  Building a shed in 2014.  Doing a full renovation side by side with my contractor ex-father-in-law in 2016.  Building boxes and artwork out of reclaimed Barnwood.  The pieces were all there.  I just didn’t know what picture the puzzle was supposed to look like.  

So tonight I look at my feet.  I’ve worked hard today - finishing stage one of a large deck project at work.  I’ve had communication with some really cool people in my life.  I got to say “I love you” to my kids.  I’ve written.  I’ve prayed.

I’m sitting here looking at my feet.  Thankful.  Blessed.  

Alive. 

~ Peace

The Burtle