FOOTPRINTS

They last only moments.

The stretch of time that it takes to walk a mile can see them vanish in the winds brushing across the trail.  They are not permanent.  They are just us passing through this life.

At times they trudge through the muck and mire.  At other times they find clear passage.

As my life.

My feet are still finding their way.  The unique journey that I take is mine and mine alone.  It is shared.  It has special others whose steps parallel my own.  It has past journeys that have seen parting of company.

I see the days ahead full of new paths and even two new little feet.  

This week I've seen a change in the weather as fall ushers in, and in me I have seen a thoughtfulness that has lingered... a wondering of what changes my own life has yet to see.

We all live here.  We all breathe.  We all walk, and ultimately we all die.

What will be my footprint on this world?  As the mountains rise above me, around me - I know there are still many to climb.  There will be hard ascents and even harder times descending in the trials that WILL COME.  

But there will be strong Vistas.  Views only available if you make the climb.

I know I'll take some serious memories.  And hopefully leave my footprint!

margin

we run from activity to activity.  seeking more to fill every moment of our day.  seeking fulfillment that will satisfy.  but are we really finding any real purpose in all these multiple endeavors?

are you satisfied with your life on the run?  am I?

I hesitate for just a moment (long enough to look at the calendar and see where I'm supposed to be right now.).  

are we willing to allow a little margin?

I see friends and family that run, run, run.  Taking themselves and their kids from ballet to soccer to church to piano lessons to karate to who knows where.  I have adult friends that go from their jobs to teaching lessons to volunteer activities to the next community get together.

I've been them.  I've lived that life.

the page runs closer and closer to the edge of the sheet. the margins shrinking with each addition to the schedule.

create margin.  create space for you, for your family to breathe.  to find more life in moments.  there will always be the rush, the coming and going in our lives, but some days just need the clean white space created by plenty of margin.

On the Turning Away

It's been haunting me for weeks.  The lyrics and melody as if it was composed in some Romantic Poet's time.  The way it aches through my ears with a need to do something more with this life.

On the turning away
From the pale and downtrodden
And the words they say
Which we won't understand
"Don't accept that what's happening
Is just a case of others' suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away" 

   ~ Pink Floyd

The heart is always the gauge.  The heart, without blemish or strain can rise above the selfish manipulations our world or even our selves, to present us with opportunities to be better.

The heart's vision can be a crystal clear compass to a better way to live.

But there's just too much of the "turning away".  Too many times when that gauge is foggy or the compass pointing in the wrong direction...

Give me more of the positive.  Give me more time to find someone to help - someone to listen to.  And let it start with those that are closest to my heart.

No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It's not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be
No more turning away?

No more Turning Away!!!

From Darkest Night

From darkest night to sun's first rays

when all is faded, among life's dismay

when the rumbling clouds awake my fears

that I've gone to battle, held back for years and year

The heart that's weathered a thousand days

still beats, but sometimes still loses its way

I run to where I know I can hide

most often someplace secret, deep inside

When I first felt the need to run

it was to safe myself from a broken son

and I find there are times when I still feel the pain

like opening up a scabbed wound again

The scars run deep and I usually find

that they seem so distant, like they weren't mine

But this week, these days have held them clear in from of me

Fear arises, and I can't help but see

How I'm still waking from this too-real dream

that I have faced it again - opened up to see

The vulnerable little boy within

still silly at times, but often still fighting to live

From darkest night to sun's first rays

Still walking with you, to find our way.

9/5/14

clc

Breathing Lessons

Breathe in...

out.

in...

out.


Even after all the travels of the last year, I still find it hard to breathe when leaving a patch of PERFECTLY GOOD LAND and taking to the skies.  I don't mind flying.  It's the take off and landings that really get me.

So I have to breathe.

In...

out.



Learning how to breathe on the ground, well that took a lot more than the few seconds it takes for takeoff to a new destination.  Each step used to be heavy, with my breath hard against my lungs.  The steps would go so slowly and each hill became an Everest, a monumental endeavor.  My chest would heave with the desire to fill, only to find shallow little breaths coming out.  That's how hiking, walking, even sitting in the car were.  Hard to find any balance when the air just won't help you.  The world  looked dark with no hope for any true depth.  A shallow monotone.  No adventure.  No life.

But most of that shallow breathing came from something beyond my physical shape.  It was born out of depression.  A symptom of my fears and insecurities.  The world around me then was teeming with others who were as tired and beaten as I was.  It's easy to stay in that world once you get there.  No real reason to get out.  Nothing to push you to greater things.  Even the "highest" moments are just little hills as I look back on them today.

I had to learn to breathe.  Along the path I met so many who were also wanting to find more.  To fly (maybe!).  They were men who shared the hardships I knew.  They were others who were learning to breathe at the same time.  I don't get the chance to talk to many of them now.  Sometimes you have to step out once you get the basics and find how to take in a 2 liter-sized gulp of Fresh Air by yourself and feel how it intoxicates your lungs.  How you can feel your body tingle from the freshness, the pure energy that is soaked up.

Some of those brothers are still learning to breathe.  Hell, I'm still working on it.  But I know that physically I can go climb a mountain and rise to the top and see the view - and know what it's taken to get there!

For all those still struggling to move on, I just ask you to get up.  Take that first step.  Go fill your lungs.  My mind often can't settle into deeper thoughts until I'm quiet - breathing - many times on a trail or a mountain.

"When on the mountains high….
I surrender, all I am
How I want to fly
Above the troubles
but I still stand
Because I’m just a man (who)
Believes

That all it takes is a man
Who will listen
And take a stand
And no matter who I am
I find the peace I need
And spread my wings…
And believe"

clc

Take a lesson from one who knows....

...gotta breathe!

Road Trippin'

14 days.  6 people.  1 small RV.

From Atlanta, Georgia to Los Angeles, California and everywhere in between.  Over the course of those two weeks I would see the Grand Canyon, Universal Studios, the Painted Desert, Carlsbad Cavern, Mexico and just about every major site in between (and many minor ones as well!).  

I grew up on these.  Trips around the country in the backseat of whatever vehicle we were taking.  We drove to Boston, to Washington, D.C., Florida, Alabama and of course California.

It's how I grew up and I find that I still love the thought of a road trip!  As an adult I've driven to Pennsylvania, New Orleans, the Carolinas, and recently to Michigan.

One summer I took a bus up through the midwest to Chicago and the surrounding area.  

So this summer I've found myself on another of these road trips.  The first one with my parents in over twenty years.  This time with my two teen-aged kids and my new wife!  We started in Seattle and drove down to Cannon Beach, Oregon.  I was apprehensive at first, but it was a good week with Fireworks, a Beach Wedding, Kite flying, and "Goonies"!

But I don't know if any trip will surpass the 'misadventures' of that trip out to California.  It was my Grandmother's last trip with us.  She'd pass the next year to cancer.  We slept all cramped up in this little Winnebago and crossed the horizon chasing the sites and the sun.  I couldn't truly appreciate all of it until now, years later - when I see my 15 year old son and 13 year old daughter in a car with myself or one of the grandparents traversing the countryside in search for something to see.

So I'm thankful for the time spent in a car, van, station wagon or RV!

...the lawn of the Kennedy Center - where I fell in love with music of the world!

...the Grand Canyon - where I still find myself looking towards in all my hiking!

...Boston - where I was allowed the freedom to roam through a city alone.

...and all the other places that helped shape parts of me.

So I guess it's not too soon to plan my next road trip.  Who knows where I'll end up!

Terms and Conditions

It's pretty clear.  It's a declaration, an oath, a vow.

Things that should never be taken lightly.  Purposes that are deeper than mere words or notions.

Rich Mullins has a song that seems to echo some of what I'm feeling this morning, sitting on the west coast in Cannon Beach, Oregon.  One day from signing on the dotted line...

"There's a loyalty that's deeper
Than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs
That I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes
For the allegiance
I owe only to the Giver
Of all good things

There's more that dances on the prairies
Than the wind
More that pulses in the ocean
Than the tide
There's a love that is fiercer
Than the love between friends
More gentle than a mother's
When her baby's at her side

So if I stand let me stand on the promise..."

I've been here before.  But this is uniquely different.  Where I've hidden my heart in the past - kept myself from truly opening up and growing with another person - I find myself incredibly vulnerable and wanting the stretch marks that come from allowing one person to come beside me and find solace in the union.

The terms...

"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

The conditions...

Forever - Always!

So I'll stand tomorrow.  Dressed up as this boy from Georgia can be.  Stand beside the person I've grown to not only love, but to cherish.  The words won't come close to what I find inside of me.  I just hope that they can somehow reflect all that I see ahead of us on this journey.