Sunday, August 16, 2015

UKE the Wild!



It was a crazy thought.  In less than four weeks get ready for a strenuous trek through the Olympic National Park.  Four days removed from civilization, cell phones, work and stress.

My father-n-law made the suggestion.  We had tried the trip the year before and found ourselves knee deep in snow (in late June even), but this year the rain was down, the temps looked favorable and without too much of a pause, I said "yes!"  

Training was a blur, but I hit my normal hiking with a little extra weight on my back and a focus on the daily grind that the trip would bring.  But as I tried to get my legs and back to a place that would manage carrying my shelter, food and misc, I realized that I needed to also bring something for my spirit as well.

Ukulele is a passion of late.  I have always played music - be it percussion, drums, guitar, dulcimer, but this curious little instrument has found such a special place in my heart.  It sings with a voice that cuts through the negativity of the day and puts a smile on my face even when my heart is heavy.  It's compact and often not taken seriously, but it has a voice that is unmistakable and soothing.  Sometimes longingly singing a melody and other times full of the twangy blues that touches your soul.

So I decided to take a Uke into the Wild.  I own several (it's some strange compulsion that other Uke players have described in blogs and facebook).  But I also had found this wonderful place just on the other side of Atlanta - Uke Republic, and had an idea.  Take a waterproof, plastic Uke with me on the trip.  Take the journey and rigors and see just how the little guy would hold up.

Mike at Uke Republic obliged and I set off with a Kala Waterman Ukulele.


The trip started from Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson Airport to Seattle, Washington.  The next day I'd be in the truck and off towards the peak above Hart's Lake in the middle of the Olympics.  It was a time for me to bond with my father-n-law and also a time to recharge before my job ramped up in late July for the school year.

With my pack securely attached and the Uke right on the back, we headed out.  First day - 10 miles along the Duckabush.  A peaceful, almost vacant trail that allowed my thoughts to wonder as my feet wandered.  When I stopped for a pause, I would pull out the Waterman and strum some simple tune or some lingering melody that haunted my thoughts.  It was in these surreal moments that the melody combined with words to form the beginnings of a song.  

Each night I spent time around the campfire, strumming, writing, enjoying the simple joys of life in the wild.  Each day I found a few moments here and there to pluck.  The Ukulele responded and was exactly what I needed it to be - rugged, responsive and even resonant at times in it's voice.  

On the second day I fell.  Not just falling from tripping, but as I came down a long embankment my foot caught on a branch and I found myself thrust forward and down, 45 pound pack and all.  I knew that I had to throw my weight to the pack to avoid injury.  In that instant I wasn't thinking about the little instrument that was on the far back of the pack.  I came down hard.  Knees and back taking the blunt of the fall.  Once I got up and made sure nothing was injured or broken, I remembered the Uke.  Pulled it out and even though I know it was under everything, it remained intact.  Kudos to Kala for making it pretty near indestructable!


The journey was a beautiful adventure.  I wasn't able to make it all the way to the summit we had planned to reach, but I found solace in a place that captured more of my heart.  Amidst seeing a herd of elk, wild grouse, mountains that touched the sky and simple butterflies that would never know the world I had left, I found what I will always call 'home'.  The wild.

So if you have the opportunity to go, whether it be the Olympics, the hills of Georgia, Carolina's coast or anywhere you choose.  Take with you something that allows you to find your spirit and fly!

Uke the Wild!




Thursday, July 2, 2015

Letters: The Men You Are

You're three months old today.

And though it will be years before you will ever read or comprehend this, I wanted to give you some of your own 'history'.  A part of who and what we were thinking when we named you.  So you'll know these two men, Kit and Brett,  and one day understand the significance of the name Christopher Brett Chatham.

Both talented musicians.  Both men loved.

Christopher "Kit" Chatham is my brother.  A man I have seen skyrocket into one of the most talented performers I've ever seen.  And though we aren't as close as I'd like, he remains one that is dear to my heart.  I hope you'll meet him and get some of his cool 'mojo'.  He entertains and inspires many.  He may not realize it, but he is still part the young Kit that I grew up with in my heart and the man I'd like to get to know again.

And like Kit, I hope that I will give you all the opportunities that my father gave me.  The chance to find dreams and to chase them.  Even catch them!

William Brett Shanley is part of you as well.  He left us too soon, but from all I've learned - all I've tried to understand, he was like me.  Scarred at times - flawed, but a good man.  He loved your mom extremely and his presence is still in our home.  Your mom will tell you more about him.  He was loved by many.  And in his absence, we'll never forget him.  You carry part of him in your spirit.

These two men come from the heart of your mom and I.  They resonate with the good stuff that we want you to know and along with our own life's stories, will be part of the love that we hope will guide you as you grow.

It's important to know them, but it's even more important that you know yourself.  That is a struggle that I never wish upon you.  Both Kit and Brett are men who found who they are.

So Little Man, as you lay sleeping next to me.  I have shed a few tears thinking about the past, but as you stir I know that I'll look even deeper into the future.


7/2/15
clc

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Letters: My Little Girl

“My Little Girl!”



She will always be.

From her excited face that still surfaces when something tickles her inside, or those deep brown eyes.  She had my heart from the moment she came into the world.

“What do I see when I look into brown eyes,
Well it takes my breath away..”

Again, born at a time when I just wasn’t the father that I would want to be – she still was so cute – and full of life.  She would walk beside you and just look up.  Wanting to be seen – wanting to know she was loved.  And girl, you have ALWAYS been loved!

While your brother may have the hair that stands out – you have a depth in you that I see.  An emotional roller coaster inside that is so great and terrifying in a moment.  Because I know those feelings too.  You share that with me.

I love it when you open up to me (Even though sometimes I’m pulling info out of you).  You are deep.  And you dream.  You’ve helped give me hope at times that there are better, bigger things on the horizon.  You still have time to look up at the stars and find something that sparks the desires inside you.

My little girl, find those passions.  Dream big, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Dreams.

But no matter what you seek, know that I love you for the little girl who I still find myself thinking of throughout my days.  You will never be far from my heart and soul.  I ache for you when I know you’re hurting and I feel life deeper inside when you laugh or we sing randomly in the car driving down the road!

My Young Lady.

Cambrey.


(and no, you’re still not dating until you’re 35!!)


4/1/15
clc

Letters: My First Love


My First Love

He had me from the moment he arrived.  Not just a child, but a Big Ole Baby Boy!  He came at a time of uncertainty and chaos for me personally, but he came.  He was there, this living, breathing monster – that wouldn’t sleep at night, wouldn’t settle down and it was evident pretty early on that there was an orangeish tint atop his head.

I struggled as a young dad.  Didn’t do a lot of things right.  But if I had any true part in putting this child on the planet – then I must have at least succeeded at that.  I’ve looked back on where I’ve truly felt unconditional love – where I’ve looked at another being and said “I Love You” without feeling the scars from my youth or the judgements that I felt from my world.  "I love you no matter what.  No matter where life takes you."

It was at this kid – now more a Man than Child, but still a boy inside.  That was the first time!

I look forward to finding more time with him.  I don’t want to be the one who looks back years later and regrets.  Well, I already have time that I regret being so far removed from him and his sister, but I’m working hard to let them know my heart.

To you son, I want you to know the depth of love that I carry deep inside.  I see you in my mind so many days and just want you to be YOU.  To be the person that you are – to become the man that I can’t wait to see you mature and grow into.  But I never want you to lose that spirit you have.  The mischievous grin and silly side.  Stand out like the shock of hair on your head.

You are my first love.  One of many loves now.

Cade.



3/31/15
clc

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Two Men - revisited

Some will be lost.  There's no way to experience life without ultimately experiencing death.

But not Forgotten.

William Brett Shanley
3/31/1973 - 4/11/2012


Two Men - Revisited

Two men meet at the end of the road
One departed – one further to go
But sometimes they still meet
Like today, when’s it’s the time
To look back where they’ve traveled
Find a little peace of mind…

Two stories that still seem to unfold
One never forgotten, one left to be told
Come together and take a pause
Winded voices still move on and on

They share past and present
Then turn to depart

I stop and turn, look back at him
Starting to fade, won’t let the light dim
Must push on –
so when next we meet
There is another chapter
Two little feet…

I’ve lost many, some I’ve known for years and years
But this man that I followed can bring as many tears
I will remember what I can –
Though even though I think I understand
Some days I can’t

But I know the road.
I’ve walked it.  Longer than he
And somehow I’ve been allowed
To live and breathe

Suffered with pain – with the uncertainty
Of staying together, when I just couldn’t believe
And the path ahead of me, well
Still have days it’s a little foggy to see

Two men say goodbye again
Not really brothers, not exactly friends
Each shares in their humanity
Insights others may not have seen

I move on – I press on…


3/31/15
clc

Monday, February 23, 2015

43

I am a blessed man.  I have a beautiful, gorgeous wife.  A new wonder on the way.  A child I never thought would be part of my future, but I'm excited nonetheless.

I have two incredibly strong and amazing teenagers.  Cade, who I see so much raw, untapped potential in.  You're smart kid, do something with it – let me help, I'm always here.  And Cambrey, my “little girl”.  I know you have the whimsical, dreamer side, like me.  Refine it and find your passion! ( and no, you're still not dating until you re 35!).

But it's still been a hard transition.  43.

Some birthdays just come and pass with out much ado, then there are those that you just can't truly fathom why, but they hit you.  A brick against the head.  An ACME Anvil (circa Bugs Bunny, Wille Coyote) over the skull… And you still hear that damn road runner taunting, laughing in every “beep, beep!”

My body’s fighting me.  My emotions, even though I've done my best, are on edge.  My physical body is hurting.  All the time.  To the point of tears.  So tomorrow I go to another doctor.  Praying for some relief.  The ringing is just so prevalent.  And then Wednesday a sinus procedure to relieve some of the infection and drainage issues.

It’s been hard.  To the point where I found myself losing it over a curs-ed (said southernly) ceiling fan yesterday.

Growing a year older really isn't a big part of the landscape, but it just happens that this week everything aligns.   I’m feeling it.  And I don't really allow myself that voice.  The screaming I do inside is often just a muddled whisper to those around.  So without yelling, I just want to say I’m not done.  I've cried more in the last week or so the I have in a long time.  Everything kind of hitting all at once.  The pain, the need to carve out “space”,  the absolute desire to get little one’s room all settled, the struggle for family – and what that means,  the artistic “struggle” within, feeling the mountain air in my lungs, and the need to be open and talking to the one I love…

So here's a little openness…

I love both of my parents.  Even though I don't necessarily know how that works.  I love Kit, and I think he'll see that one day soon.  I love my new in-laws, though that is still a new relationship (here in Georgia we have shotguns usually attached to any mention of In-laws, but for now I think I’m safe – haha).   I am so deeply in love with the two kids that I see as coming into a really cool age.  They are on my mind daily – constantly.  Embedded I the depths of my soul. I will love little “runt”.  That's a crazy new adventure to come!

And I love My Wife.  But that is something that I will express to her, in private (Jenelle, Just know how much you truly mean to everything).

So I'm not apologizing for my age, or my condition.  I'm sick of saying sorry for what's going on.  I am, though, trying to find answers.  Even when the questions are still kind of fuzzy to me.  I know that age isn't the definer of my spirit.  I'm just battling to right the ship and set the course (funny side note – I keep a compass on the dash of my van and a special brass one hanging on my peg board at home)

I am a man who is deeply rooted here in the woods and the winds of north Georgia.  But just as alive roaming the city streets of my Atlanta.  I find that there is a distinct need to play, to create, to be the artist that I know is hidden down inside the years of dust and cobwebs.  I need to love, and those who are my loves - my wife, kids, family and dear, dear friends (Matt, Kelly and yes, even you Nate!) all need to know how much you truly mean to me.

My spirit isn't fettered by the strains of corporate religion, but I believe in God and the ragamuffin gospel of Rich and how he chose to realize his faith.  Im still not satisfied with my own spiritual views, but I'm continually looking, reading, even praying on occasion.  But I also won't deny anyone else their own views.  I only can answer for me. I just know there's something out there.

So this week I turn 43, KINDA (My kids always think it's so funny that I only have a birthday every four years, and that I'm only 10, and that in birth years I'm younger than they are….  I was born on the 29th, if you haven't figured that out yet), and I have realized that this is one of those harder ones.

But it's still me.  Still moving forward, even through the hard times.  Even when tears swell up in my eyes, like now. Still wanting to do something special, something powerful with the short time we have here on this planet.  Still traversing the trails and mountains before me.

Still me.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Prayer for Peace


Some of us pray to God.

Some to Buddha or off toward Mecca.

There are those who worship nature or the spirits of the world, and there are those who don't pray at all.

But tonight I pray for something that I think we all can stand together in if we drop the Religion, Theology, Mysticism and Science that we serve.

Peace.

As I sit up way too late on Tuesday, just a couple of weeks away from Christmas, I find that there is only one thing that I truly want this year.  More of the peace that I've sought and found in spurts over the last three years.  Not a peace that comes from rallies with signs or an end to War, but the simple ideal that there is a new hope, a fresh morning and a chance to move away from the darkness that looms over our heads.

If one at a time we all said our own prayer for peace - in whatever fashion we choose - and looked inward toward the human pulse that does truly unite us, couldn't we make such a radical change on this planet. 

The thought is simple.  Implementation is where the work happens.  But it's only up to the individual to strive for more balance within.  There doesn't have to be some 'meeting', an alter call, a terrorist attack, or even a radical thought.  Just take a breath.  Stop in the daily commotion. 

And "give peace a chance".


Two, one two three four

Everybody's talking about
Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism
Ragism, Tagism, this-ism, that-ism
Ism ism ism

All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance

Everybody's talkin' 'bout ministers, sinisters
Banisters and canisters, bishops and fishops
Rabbis and pop eyes, bye bye, bye byes

All we are saying, is give peace a chance
All we are saying, is give peace a chance

Let me tell you now
Everybody's talking about, revolution
Evolution, masturbation, flagellation
Regulation, integrations, meditations
United Nations, congratulations

All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance

Everybody's talking about, John and Yoko
Timmy Leary, Rosemary, Tommy smothers
Bobby Dylan, Tommy Cooper, Derek Taylor
Norman Mailer, Alan Ginsberg, Hare Krishna, Hare Hare Krishna

All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance

~ John Lennon