Movin' on UP!

There are many stops along the way.  Some filled with pain, misery.  Others with sudden joy or overwhelming need to tear up and let go.  We move on, we say goodbye - we leave.

There are many reasons why things change - and inevitably things do change.  Life isn't spent in neutral.  We move.  Seasons, the rotation of the earth (if you believe it isn't flat), our life cycle, even our beliefs can be tested and have to change - molded daily into more of what the creator wants us to see, to know.

I moved this week.  Not by choice; well I guess you could say I had a choice in the matter.  But more by reason.  I've spent most of my life in bondage of some form or another.  And what I had to realize is that I wasn't willing to be in servitude to a situation that was once so good for me, but had turned ugly - affecting my core and making me wrestle with the thoughts that had once brought me to my knees.

With a defiant yell inside my spirit I relented to the whims of oppression and said "I'll leave."  That was one week ago.  I knew my time in Little 5 Points (Atlanta) was coming to an end, but the way it ended gave me the swift spiritual kick in the ass I needed to leave, to change, to show love & tolerance, and to grow.  See, when I have faced situations like this before I would get as angry and loud as the person I was in conflict with - always making sure that I was louder, heard, seen - in all my ugly glory.

AND I started down this path.  Then stopped.

There was nothing to gain.

I hadn't held up to my end of our agreement.  I had asked to reevaluate.

And the response was as loud as the loudest CHAD-fired rage.  It was deafening.

"You can't live here unless you do work for me."  "I don't run a halfway house." I choose to not live a life built upon servitude to a raging Histrionic (look it up).  And the reason I know what this person is - well, "Spot it, you got it".

We have a distinct advantage over most other creatures in that we can live, feel, breath and think in ways that make us "just higher" than the creatures that surround us.  We have a soul.  I have been blessed.  I was blessed when I was given a place, a home back in Atlanta, and I have been blessed with the ability to see the situation before me and know when it wasn't right anymore.

My heart hurts for the loss, especially coming at the hands of two of the very people who I put trust in when I was so lost.  Whether wittingly or not, they attacked my sanity, my sobriety, my sense of being and most of all my security.  Making me feel like I was taking advantage of them by trying to discuss a situation that many much wiser than I saw as bordering on crooked.  All I had asked for was a voice.

And I got one.

God whispered in my ear right before the storm truly came full force - "call this person - they are waiting on you".  

I did.  And I sit here tonight, fully moved out of one place into another.  Moved by more than the people who lent a hand, but by the voice of my God.  Clearly looking out for one of the "least of these".

I nearly succumbed last week to my fears.  I still have them.  I still hold on tight when the storms come.  And though it's a move before I expected it, it is the right move.  The Next Right Thing.

So for now, Clarkston, I hope you will be good to me.  I am so happy to be here!

The Burtle

"Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money, 
come, buy and eat!
Come, and buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare."

Isaiah 55:1-2

~ and for A.W.