So many times I try to take the power out of God’s hands. Like I can truly control anything outside of my own little lane driving down the highway?
There are so many things that are outside of my line of sight, beyond the horizon, over the next till… So many places I’ve not seen or even know if I’ll experience.
Yet when the first bump comes and I’m forced to swerve a little bit I start to panic. I’m still on the road. I’m still in my lane. But I’m letting things that are outside of my control take me down tangents before they even affect me.
Yes, there’s a hazard ahead. And I have to do something about it if I don’t want to wreck. But I can see those clearly now most of the time. They’re bigger than the bumps and I have to avoid them. Or, I have to stop and move them out of the way.
I haven’t slept. I had something come up that I’ve got to deal with. And I will. After a good snotty cry and the realization that I’m in such a better place than I was a couple years ago; when this would have driven me to anger, to bitterness, to drink.
I get to make the next right decision. I’ve got some things I need to take care of but in reality my life hasn’t changed from yesterday. Paperwork, owning my part, and continuing to seek his will.
That’s what I can do.
Honestly, it’s in his hands. I just have to do the footwork.
Pause. Pray. Proceed.
~ Peace
The Burtle
How lucky we AAers are to know and accept our strengths and shortcomings! I'm so proud of you that you are now enjoying some of the longer term benefits of being clean and sober. You have reached the sky and are free to soar! A small downdraft won't delay or disturb you. Keep on doing the next right thing.
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