It’s a term that I use at the end of conversations, especially when it’s someone I care about. I’ve found that I am not always good when it comes to helping others, but I do know that we have to start by taking care of ourselves. And in that phrase I hope to encourage those around me that you have one body, one spirit, one mind and you personally have the ability to take care of that. You can make decisions regarding being healthy; physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
(Hint - slow steps in any direction is progress when you're starting from zero)
And we often suck at that. At least I do. Our physical bodies will eventually break down and tire, whether it be at the end of a long day or towards the end of our days here. Our minds will start messing with us. I swear sometimes I am so lucid and other times I’m like “I’m losing my freaking mind”. And we can spiritually lose our way. We can lose hope, we can lose faith, we can lose those tangible things that keep us grounded to this life and the hopes for one to come.
I just got a pair of new walking shoes. I hope to wear the soles off of them! I need to walk, to breathe, to feel spring fully and to shed some of my cloudy thoughts as well as a little weight. And that is a personal goal. Not something that I’m doing because I feel someone is pressing me to. I know my body is okay for 51, but damn I wanna live another 20-30 years :-)
Mentally, I’m still challenging myself the best I can. Word games and things like this blog. Learning new skills while hopefully honing established ones. Conversations that have depth instead of just the ‘splishy splashy triteness’ that we can often get caught up in. I want to share what matters in my head with people who matter in my heart.
And I chose to Love. It's crazy! I can find kindness, grace and well, not the 'icky, cootie filled' love for just about anyone. Even my enemy list has shrunk. I don't want to give my energy in Anger - well maybe driving, but that's a LONG work in progress. It's a choice. A decision to try and be better instead of being mired in my own envy, hurts, rage.
And as I’ve tried to do most of this year, I’m praying. And listening. I have found a level of serenity in situations that used to completely bog me down. I give that to something much bigger than me. Breathing helps, but knowing that I’m not in control and that much of life is OUT OF MY CONTROL makes taking care of the things that do matter, that I can ‘handle’ so much clearer. For me, that’s God. A power greater than myself.
And often times God presents himself in the people around me, in springtime breezes and even sitting here writing words that matter to me. Because this isn’t about you. If you’re reading this, I do hope you get something out of it...
but this is me, looking inward and one day at a time, one moment at a time -
taking care of me.
~ Peace
The Burtle
