Embrace what you are.
Maybe not where you stand, but what’s at your core. The fibers that wind together to form the strong ties to the emotional, spiritual, wonderful you. Tie them deep into what you know, what you’ve experienced. Let your soul dwell in the thoughts of being held while still able to run through the tall grass of a hillside meadow.
Embrace the rainy days as they wash over the landscape of your vision, making it sometimes hard to fathom the existence of a sun piercing blue and purple skies that eventually fade into night. Embrace the storms. The beautiful cacophony of sound, experience, tears that roll in and break the scenic vistas of ‘our’ hopes and plans. Embrace the pain as the storms swell, and the healing that will eventually come.
Embrace the work that comes and hold tight to the vision that maybe only you see. Only you can explain and make work. Embrace the failures that surely will come. And pick yourself up and brush off the comments that are meant to hurt, to wound or to just flat out insult your dream.
Embrace hope in something bigger. Your god, your faith, your science, your statistics. Believe it with everything you have. Make it become something real, if only in you.
Embrace the ones who embrace you. Their quirks and flaws and frail humanity. Take them when they roar and when they need. Take TIME to be the friend, the family that you would want them to be. Embrace THEM. Touch them, hug them, breathe life into them with your presence.
Take the embrace of a child who needs a hug after falling and skinning a knee.
Take the embrace of an elder who needs to know the world still exists even when their mind can’t fathom the day.
And take the warm embrace that comes when saying goodbye to a new friend.
Friday morning of summer youth camp. Amidst the half-nodding teens, I sat half-listening…
“SHE’S NAKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
And all the sudden, every teenaged boy (and girl) in the auditorium on Jekyll Island was fully awake and alert. Some of us more than others. All to just get our attention. The camp director was about to talk about ‘biblical relationships’. And though most of what he said floated through the opposite ear, I will never forget his introduction to the topic.
Now as an adult, here’s a thought…
Let’s get Naked and Afraid!
Vulnerable. Fearful. Exposed. Real.
“Rend your heart and not your garments”, Joel 2:13. I’m not talking about taking everything off and surviving. Or am I? To drop walls and open up to any other person means to strip down to what’s beneath. What’s at the core of who we are. And for me, that is a place that only a few know. I am often an island, but for good reason. I’ve learned how to survive. To pack my gear, to overplan, to prep and to figure out the best way to tackle the ‘scenario’, the trail, the next adventure. And I pull on the appropriate layering system of down, wool, synthetics to cover me and provide the best protection.
But to be naked to someone, to be open… that’s F*cking crazy. That’s FRIGHTENING>!
What I’d like to do is to rest. To find myself so comfortable with someone that I just don’t need to plan. That it just comes easy. That the moments aren’t spent in debate, but in laughter. The time slips by because there’s not enough, and I just look forward to the next time. Less is more. Less complication. Less misunderstanding. Less stress over what works. I find this often with my friends Nate and Maegen (though often there are shenanigans as well), and other dear friends that it just comes easy with. But not romantically.
I think it will happen one day. I think there’s still hope. But to get there. Well, gotta take down some walls. Lower some defenses. Be willing to, well, be hurt. Yes, I said it. I have to be willing to be hurt. And that’s some seriously scary Sh!t. I don’t want to let someone hurt me. But I also don’t want to be alone forever. So, there is an understanding that I’ll get hurt. And please don’t be one of those that says “I’ll never hurt you”. Don’t say that to your loved ones. Don’t say it to your friends, your family. Don’t say it to your dog!
Be honest. “Hey, I can promise you ONE thing. I’ll hurt you. But I will do everything in my power NOT to intentionally hurt you.” Doesn’t that take some pressure off? To recognize our feeble nature and to acknowledge it and own it. We’re going to hurt each other. It’s the communicating our feelings, listening to each other, and owning our actions that help to mend those wounds. And yes, that is another place that means we have to get open (naked) and really vulnerable (afraid).
Otherwise, I build myself a tall, tall castle. One with a single room. No outside communication. No real connection to the outside world other than a view from a distance. Safe. Secure. ALONE. I’ve thought about this choice. Actually spent some serious time debating its merits and even though it is very tempting at times, even recently, it’s just not how we were built. Of course I need my space. I’m an extroverted introvert, but I still need special people. Those who warm me and melt the walls inside.
So, when the time is right. I’m here. I’ll start to let down those walls a little more. Take off a layer or two of protection.
Get NAKED.
And not be (too) AFRAID.
