Addict.
I am one.
But aren’t we all? Don’t we all have something that we struggle with? I know it’s not the traditional definition of an addict, but don’t we all have things that drag us down, that try to defeat us, that push us into directions that are so unhealthy and unreasonable and unmanageable and just fucking hard?!
You say, “I’m not an addict!”
Food? Sex? Drugs? Accomplishment? Fame? Money?
I call it the addiction of MORE. More binge-worthy TV. More earnings in my 401(k). More laps in the pool. More soda, more tattoos. More, more, more, more, more.
What about more love? Not romantic love (I’ll sidestep that topic for right now), but love of others, regardless of who they are?
Now that’s an addiction I can get behind. Would we ever find a day that we said that we loved too much? I’ll take that. I want to love too much!
I had one of the hardest counseling sessions I’ve had in a long while today. I deep down want to be loved and accepted, but I often sabotage that with my own self doubt and fears. I am my own worst enemy. Because many times I don’t choose to love myself enough.
But “gosh darn it”, I am lovable! Even with my struggles, I am still a man who down deep is capable and worthy of love. I just sometimes forget that. And that hard session that I had today, well, I realize that there are two words that I want to be in the forefront of my mind as much as they can be every day.
Love and Kindness.
Can we ever love enough? And I don’t mean love without boundaries. I mean love that is truly heartfelt and also compassionate. Solid and true.
What is kindness? It’s not being nice and telling everyone what they want to hear. It’s speaking your truth without trying to hurt or harm another. It’s giving direction without being a dick about it. It’s reaching out a helping hand - to someone you don’t necessarily know or even like.
I think those two words match rather nicely. If I’m kind and I show love, I have a whole lot less to regret at the end of the day. I can look at my days and go “you know what, I did my best. I was honest, I was open, willing, and I showed others love and kindness throughout the better part of my day”. That would be a successful life to me!
I met an older man 2 1/2 years ago who embraced me as a son, a fellow traveler, a mentee and someone who wasn’t beyond hope. He always sat out at the gazebo and smoked a cigarette and would ask how I was doing. And he listened. Sometimes he would say some piece of sage advice, other times he would just laugh at those of us that were cutting up around him. And he was a solid member of a group of people who continue to do their best to show love. He passed last week. I bawled my eyes out for two days. I’m so thankful to have met him. He was one of the many examples of love and kindness that I have met since November 2020. He will be missed!
Oh yes, for the God box people… isn’t that what Jesus did? Without looking at race, gender, orientation, disease, sexual slant, that dude said “come to me”, and showed a whole lot of love!
That’s an addiction I can really get lost in!
Be Kind
and
Love Each Other!
~ Peace
The Burtle
