“We have this treasure in jars of clay”

Maybe it’s in the cracks, the broken pieces that have been sewn back together that the light shines. That in our weakest moments, in our defeats, in our times of falling, failing in the face of the world, the light of God breaks through and illuminates beyond our fragile shells.

Maybe in the moments when we hurt the most is when we see the most. Because that’s when we see the power that comes from a breath, from a touch, from a loving hand of someone we know, but more powerful than any of this is the whisper on the wind of God’s voice. The gentle nudges or sometimes swift kick in the ass that persuades us on. Even if that means to stop and sit for a while, just to be still.

“We have this treasure” inside us and once we’ve been exposed to it, we are never the same. Once you’ve tasted and allowed that sweet nectar to flow through you, how can you go back to something else? Something that doesn’t satisfy.

In a world where we are taught to find what makes us tick, what makes us happy, what makes us fulfilled, maybe the answer isn’t in the world at all. But inside the whispers of a God who loves. In the ancient words of a manuscript that still resonates beyond any billboard or social media post.

In hope. 

In finding peace in the midst of those moments when it just feels like everything’s a little shaky. 

And sometimes, sitting in the darkness, when it feels like there’s not much light at all, there resonates something bigger. Something that is unexplainable to most, but if you know, you understand how God can reach down… This all powerful being can reach down and hold us in our moments of sorrow.

And maybe the treasure inside is just the fact that we are here. That if you have chosen to follow (God) that you know that there are things that will break us, there are things that will tear at us and things that will try to drag us down paths that lead us to misery, but the treasure is inside. And no one can take that away.

“We have this treasure in jars of clay”.  Inside this tender heart.

~ Peace

The Burtle

“For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

A Higher Power, whom I choose to call God

I’ve proclaimed over the last several years that love is a choice. Sure there are feelings and emotions involved, but the truest form of love comes with sacrifice, patience and with a consistent effort made through action. Even the action of stillness…

I also have come to believe that most, if not all smart humans have a belief system. I’m not necessarily talking about religion or even the god that I was raised with, but I am talking about something deeper that resonates within them. That helps drive them, guides them and sometimes pick them up from the crap… I wanted to say ‘shit’, but I decided to use a different word! 

I’m not trying to push an agenda (yet), but I do think that having a higher power, whatever it is for you is important. 

And look, it can be intellect, it can be your own core sense of accomplishment that comes from hard work and finding the right avenues for your career. It can come from being on your knees and it can come from flying in the clouds. 

So all you smart people, (both of you that read this lol) tell me. What do you believe in? 

And here’s where I side step and bring in my agenda. I’m gonna tell you about my God. And you don’t have to understand and you don’t have to believe, but I just ask you to take a moment and really dig into the fact that I want to hear yours as well. I don’t mind talking about God and also hearing about what other people believe in. It’s one of those topics that some people get real fearful about, but I’ve learned that the more fear we take out of it and the more love we put into it the more bridges we can build between each other. I don’t need you to believe in my God, but I would love to share with you how having something to believe in when I was at my worst saved my life.

Saved me from a tree, from a bottle, from my own stupidity and flesh. 

I thought that the only way that I could find God was to check off all the lists… Sunday morning, serving, showing my face and also doing the right things. What the hell are the right things? I keep reading this book and it keeps telling me that there was this guy who said just follow. He didn’t say you had to be perfect. He didn’t say you had to have your shit together (There goes that word again), he didn’t say that you had to get it all. Take a step. Just believe in something.

Look, I’m pretty passionate about the fact that I’m flawed. That I am more than enough of a project for God to work on trying to make a little better. And for years all I could think was ‘I have to do this better, because if I can do it better, maybe he’ll love me’. And that’s bullshit!

God is love. 

He stands there with his arms open wide, and says ‘I’m here, I don’t need you to be perfect, I just need you to say yes… come to me’.

In late 2020 I found myself on my belly in the sand on a beach near St. George Island. I had fallen while trying to exit this life. And in the cacophony of chaos that was my life, I couldn’t even take my life with success. I was so angry with God. That whole trip was full of me lashing out and telling God how fucking tired I was of everything he proclaimed. And that night it was almost like I heard God’s chuckle when I fell, but it wasn’t God, it was me laughing at myself. At that moment, I was the biggest failure I had ever been. And that’s saying a lot.

It was months later when I finally decided to put down the bottle, find a God of my own understanding.  I found a God that loved me. Just loved me.

Yes, my behaviors have changed, yes my world is so much less crazy, but I didn’t suddenly become perfect. I just became open to the possibility that God could love me and would be there to help guide me. 

I’ve spent the last four years trying to figure out why. “Why do you love me?”

I may never understand the why, But I do know that I’m here and my life is so much fuller because of ancient stories that I feel are true. Teachings of a God in flesh who walked the earth, who sacrificed for me when I didn’t deserve it. Who kept me here, breathing during the darkness of 2020.

So regardless of what you believe, it does matter. I’m not trying to downplay something that may be core to your existence. Honestly, I’d like to know. I do think that if we believe in something that is bigger, that love should be at the core. And if it is, maybe you and I are closer together than we thought. Maybe there’s a bridge to build.

Love is a choice. 

I’m so thankful that he chose to love me.

~ Peace

The Burtle