Hello out there?

We find God. 

We come back to community.

We often come with childlike faith - stretching out and asking for guidance and acknowledgment from those that are beside us, some leaders, some just there along the journey with us.

And for those that speak to us and walk this road with us, we find camaraderie, hope and frequent stories of the past and how we’ve finally made it to a little bit firmer footing. 

But I’m bummed at the church as a business.

Recently there have been several times those who are hired to Shepherd fall short. And I know they are imperfect men and women too, so I’m not trying to hold them to an unobtainable dynamic. But in my past and even in the most recent weeks I’ve found that ministry people suck. And what I mean by that is that I’ve tried recently with four separate Minister/Leader/People of the Church types to get a response, to set up a coffee, to get some information that I specifically reached out and asked for - even just get to know.

Only one has reached out. And that was after I had already found myself fed up and said ‘I’m done’. Done with the hierarchy of the corporate church. That man I’m thankful for. 

Just because you’ve been in church your whole life and attend every Sunday doesn’t mean that your faith isn’t shaky. We need support. Peter was the closest to Jesus other than John and he sank quickly when he lost sight. We need brothers and sisters that are willing and able to walk, to talk, to spend time with those that are outside of the walls. 

Because if those of us that are inside the walls are struggling to connect, how the hell do you think those on the outside feel? 

I’m not ‘better than’. I’m just another broken soul, trying to speak his truth. 

I find in myself that I’m not the best at getting back to people, connecting, taking the time to listen. Maybe it’s a lesson that I need to heed myself. 

One last note. For my work I was hired to do a job. That job is connecting with my customers, contacting them and setting up an appointment. Following through with information and circling back when and if I need to make sure that things are taken care of. I take it very seriously. Not because of the money that I get (that allows me to eat), but because it’s important. 

Shouldn’t we expect something similar from those that we hire to ‘do church’? 

On the other side, I have a beautiful Life Group/Sunday School class that truly does care. They are there because they love God and they do truly love other people. And to those people and a handful of others that I do interact with, I am so very thankful. You are the church!

~ Peace

The Burtle 

We Hold On

We hold on so tight at times. To beliefs, to each other, to the past, to old hurts. We hold onto our seats when we’re flying through the countryside in our first car, we hold our breath. We hold….

But when do we let go? 

When does all that holding turn around and we realize that we can’t hold our breath forever? That we will die inside if we continue to hold onto the anger and the fears inside. That we will start to wither away if we hold onto the life we once had. That we can’t hold her, can’t hold him but we can let them go and see what happens… 

Maybe it’s not that old adage ‘if you love something, let it go and it will return to you’, but I guarantee that when you open up your hand, open up your heart you will get something in return. Possibly something greater, something new. Something beautiful. 

So hold onto the truth that we can’t truly hold on to anything. Not really. Well, maybe our faith… But can you really hold faith, or do you just have to let go and believe? 

~ Peace

The Burtle

*Part of me wanted to put Wilson Phillips’ song ‘Hold On’ from the 80s in here just as a funny!

Politics

I don’t know your politics. And I don’t care. 

Hold.

Wait.

I care about you.  One human to another. I hope I’ll listen when you let me know them.

Whether I ask for it or not.

I’ll try.

But will you understand if I don’t agree? Because that doesn’t matter to me. 

Will you listen to my voice as well?

I’m trying to do this thing where I show love and kindness… I’ve written about that several times - probably more than several! 

We seem to spend so much time dividing ourselves when really, for me personally I need to try to connect. Connect the dots, make connections, play connect four?! 

I really don’t expect us to agree on everything. In fact, I think that’s part of what makes the human experience a little richer, a little deeper, knowing that we’re not all clones from Star Wars or a group of blonde-haired muscular men from history that was trying to take over the world. 

We’re humans. We’re different, each unique. Each fearfully and wonderfully made.

So understand if shy away if you come to me pronouncing your politics expecting me to jump on the bandwagon, because I just don’t know. There are some things that are being done in the world today that just don’t make sense. It’s not right or left, conservative or liberal, there’s just some stuff that really smells. And I don’t want to be a part of that. 

I do make my stand. I do think about issues, and I do try to be at least relatively informed. But if you ask me what I’m gonna die for, hopefully it’s not on a cross, but maybe it’s trying to be a little closer to that cross. Trying to show love.

Trying to garner peace. 

 ~ Peace

The Burtle

Least of these…

“‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”

Matthew‬ ‭25‬:‭40‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Whatever I do for OTHERS” I’ve done for God? Am I reading that correctly?  I think so.

Ministry isn’t the building I’m currently sitting in.  It isn’t the programs I can sign up for, the classes I can take.  It’s the simple gestures that show my own heart (the little black speck of coal!) reaching out without pretense, without ‘show’ to hear and see - possibly help others.  In ANY circumstance.

I have such a history here in the walls of a Baptist church.  So many days learning the truths and beauty of scripture.  So many thoughts that still ruminate inside me to this day.  And so many hurts.  Ones that often make me wonder, regardless of God and his mercy why I put myself back in this box.

Yet here I sit.

As I’m redefining my own thoughts, needs in this community, I also see that I’m not alone in trying to understand the bitter morass of church hurt.

And instead of resting in my misery - I want to do this differently.  Maybe seek ‘lost sheep’ who have the same questions about the cosmos and also the pull toward this God that often gets a little ‘dolled up’ amidst the pretty decorations and mainstream ministry.

What would it look like for me - in every day to seek the other ‘least of these’, the lost sheep that would rather wander than walk through these doors?

Not with a dose of religion painted on my tongue, but with a reckless faith that just can’t be bound by any walls.

And please, I’m not bashing on the church.  This particular church was there for me when I couldn’t see the light from the dark inside.  They prayed for me, loved on me and accept me (I think) as I am.  Well, the parts of me they know.

I feel like God is asking me to look beyond the static place to the moving heart inside (again, the little black speck!). Ministry?  How the hell do I do that?

I’m actually terrified of the answer.  But I know it comes with where he leads.  Wherever that may be.

~ Peace

The Burtle

 - - - - -

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”

Matthew‬ ‭25‬:‭35‬-‭40‬ ‭NIV‬‬

““What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”

Luke‬ ‭15‬:‭4‬-‭7‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬