out.
in...
out.
Even after all the travels of the last year, I still find it hard to breathe when leaving a patch of PERFECTLY GOOD LAND and taking to the skies. I don't mind flying. It's the take off and landings that really get me.
So I have to breathe.
In...
out.
Learning how to breathe on the ground, well that took a lot more than the few seconds it takes for takeoff to a new destination. Each step used to be heavy, with my breath hard against my lungs. The steps would go so slowly and each hill became an Everest, a monumental endeavor. My chest would heave with the desire to fill, only to find shallow little breaths coming out. That's how hiking, walking, even sitting in the car were. Hard to find any balance when the air just won't help you. The world looked dark with no hope for any true depth. A shallow monotone. No adventure. No life.
But most of that shallow breathing came from something beyond my physical shape. It was born out of depression. A symptom of my fears and insecurities. The world around me then was teeming with others who were as tired and beaten as I was. It's easy to stay in that world once you get there. No real reason to get out. Nothing to push you to greater things. Even the "highest" moments are just little hills as I look back on them today.
I had to learn to breathe. Along the path I met so many who were also wanting to find more. To fly (maybe!). They were men who shared the hardships I knew. They were others who were learning to breathe at the same time. I don't get the chance to talk to many of them now. Sometimes you have to step out once you get the basics and find how to take in a 2 liter-sized gulp of Fresh Air by yourself and feel how it intoxicates your lungs. How you can feel your body tingle from the freshness, the pure energy that is soaked up.
Some of those brothers are still learning to breathe. Hell, I'm still working on it. But I know that physically I can go climb a mountain and rise to the top and see the view - and know what it's taken to get there!
For all those still struggling to move on, I just ask you to get up. Take that first step. Go fill your lungs. My mind often can't settle into deeper thoughts until I'm quiet - breathing - many times on a trail or a mountain.
"When on the mountains high….
I surrender, all I am
How I want to fly
Above the troubles
but I still stand
Because I’m just a man (who)
Believes
That all it takes is a man
Who will listen
And take a stand
And no matter who I am
I find the peace I need
And spread my wings…
And believe"
clc
Take a lesson from one who knows....
...gotta breathe!
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