Letters: My Little Girl

“My Little Girl!”

She will always be.

From her excited face that still surfaces when something tickles her inside, or those deep brown eyes.  She had my heart from the moment she came into the world.

“What do I see when I look into brown eyes,
Well it takes my breath away..”

Again, born at a time when I just wasn’t the father that I would want to be – she still was so cute – and full of life.  She would walk beside you and just look up.  Wanting to be seen – wanting to know she was loved.  And girl, you have ALWAYS been loved!

While your brother may have the hair that stands out – you have a depth in you that I see.  An emotional roller coaster inside that is so great and terrifying in a moment.  Because I know those feelings too.  You share that with me.

I love it when you open up to me (Even though sometimes I’m pulling info out of you).  You are deep.  And you dream.  You’ve helped give me hope at times that there are better, bigger things on the horizon.  You still have time to look up at the stars and find something that sparks the desires inside you.

My little girl, find those passions.  Dream big, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Dreams.

But no matter what you seek, know that I love you for the little girl who I still find myself thinking of throughout my days.  You will never be far from my heart and soul.  I ache for you when I know you’re hurting and I feel life deeper inside when you laugh or we sing randomly in the car driving down the road!

My Young Lady.

Cambrey.

(and no, you’re still not dating until you’re 35!!)


4/1/15
clc

Letters: My First Love

My First Love

He had me from the moment he arrived.  Not just a child, but a Big Ole Baby Boy!  He came at a time of uncertainty and chaos for me personally, but he came.  He was there, this living, breathing monster – that wouldn’t sleep at night, wouldn’t settle down and it was evident pretty early on that there was an orangeish tint atop his head.

I struggled as a young dad.  Didn’t do a lot of things right.  But if I had any true part in putting this child on the planet – then I must have at least succeeded at that.  I’ve looked back on where I’ve truly felt unconditional love – where I’ve looked at another being and said “I Love You” without feeling the scars from my youth or the judgements that I felt from my world.  "I love you no matter what.  No matter where life takes you."

It was at this kid – now more a Man than Child, but still a boy inside.  That was the first time!

I look forward to finding more time with him.  I don’t want to be the one who looks back years later and regrets.  Well, I already have time that I regret being so far removed from him and his sister, but I’m working hard to let them know my heart.

To you son, I want you to know the depth of love that I carry deep inside.  I see you in my mind so many days and just want you to be YOU.  To be the person that you are – to become the man that I can’t wait to see you mature and grow into.  But I never want you to lose that spirit you have.  The mischievous grin and silly side.  Stand out like the shock of hair on your head.

You are my first love.  One of many loves now.

Cade.

3/31/15
clc