The Fragile Mind

It holds our deepest thoughts.  Can design the tallest skyscrapers AND imagine the man in the blue suit that leaps over those buildings with a single bound.  It can be developed to do complex math and still be able to hold the recipe of our grandmother's favorite dish.  It also is where the darkness often hides...

It's a safe haven and an infinite hell at the same moment.  Our days can be ruled by it.  Our nights can be terrorized by the images that form within.

It can be a tranquil place where we dream techni-color dreams of fairytale futures including wizards, action heroes or mutated turtles.  It can be where we hold our hope.  

This place isn't necessarily a bad place, but it's formed by the images, the experiences, the pain, the loss, the happy moments, the dreams, the laughter shared and the hope that has been fulfilled or destroyed.

My mind has seen some pretty amazing things.  My past at one point clouded it so much that I only saw the dark.... like Luke in the Cave (obligatory Star Wars reference).  Now I try to balance my thoughts with the hopes and dreams I still look toward and the reality in which I live.

But that's me.  Now I'm really angry.  I can deal with me, but now my daughter is having to deal. Deal with the hard realities of the Fragile Mind.

I have cried, yelled at God, gotten snotty-faced angry about it.

It's not fair.  And I will do everything I can to make it different, manageable for her.  But I just don't understand.  There's no "easy button".  No pill that makes it all better.

It's a climb.  Climb out of the ayss into something that transcends the weakness we find in our flesh and in our maleable thoughts.

So I'll end this with the words of a girl who I think has gone through some of this (and may be a little Cray-cray herself), Miley Cyrus...

The Climb - Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it

That dream I'm dreaming, but

There's a voice inside my head saying,

You'll never reach it.

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking, but I

Gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast i get there, 

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb............