following Rich

I don't know if any man can follow another.  Not completely.  It's not so much that we can't mimic or trail behind, but why would we?  We're men.  Lonely, hollow vessels that continue to need to be filled.  emptying out at every opportunity and leaving in our wake hurt, pain, sorrow, grief.

But there is a man I have followed for the better part of my life.

Rich.

I wish I could say that I was fully aware of the true man behind the music, the writings, the teacher and gypsy.  I am not.  I only have what I know from the music and lyrics I succumb to, the writings and the stories told by many others about his life.

But I know that he still strikes a chord within me.  haunting me with elegant and simple choruses and deep conviction over a subject I still yearn to understand.  I know he's no prophet, though what if he was?  He speaks to me with more clarity about this God I just can't fathom than many of the prophets of old.  I don't worship him.  I don't need that.  I have enough trouble trying to bow and worship the one who clearly calls out my name...

And I thank him.  He keeps me searching.  Through all my pig-headed bashing of the church, I'll hear a lyric of some song and realize just how wrong I am.  How small and forgotten I should be within a world of suffering.

He is my deepest link to this other man I fight So. DAMN. Hard.  Hey-sus. (that would be the Spanish way of saying it, lol!!)

His conviction to his beliefs astounds me and I find my feet heading on a similar path.  Not the path that others might choose for me, but the path where my heart is truly led.

So I turn on my playlists, or find myself humming a tune...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big,
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus,
Cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus,
Cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight you for something
I don't really want
Than to take what you give that I need

And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And the Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

So hold me Jesus,
Cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace."


~ Rich Mullins, Hold Me Jesus