I wait

I stand on the mountain top.  Eyes searching until my view drops off into the horizon.  I’m still looking.  Still searching.  Not for my faith, my father. Those I have found and they resonate, but for one person.  I come up here to breathe, to collect my thoughts, away from the world.  But I also know that here I am at my most vulnerable.  Here is where I am fully aware of just how small I really am, as I look below.  And though I’m not lonely, here is where I know how alone I truly am.

I stand still, listening to the breeze carried over the pines, the softwoods of the Appalachians.  I smell the air crisp with a hint of autumn’s arrival.  I wait.  I’ve been here before.  It’s where I go to heal.  And I’ve needed quite a healing this time.  This time I let my heart be totally exposed.  And (she) just about killed me.  But I still know I had to try.  To find myself opening up is the scariest thing I can do, yet I do.  I do willingly and often.  Though not to the depth that 2013 allowed.

Will you come?  I sincerely hope so.  I will wait for you.  I long for you.  I don’t know your face or your name, but my heart will know.  Even when it becomes bogged down with all that surrounds me, I know that it will know when you arrive.  I just hope that I am still standing.  Amongst the verdant hillside.  Atop a place that gives me breath enough to say “hello”.