Margin

What’s really important to you?  

Those are the things that we give our money, our attention, our time to.  No matter what you SAY is important, it’s where your actions, your passion, your late nights working on that project, that show what you really care about.  

For me.  For you.  Period.

There may be some exceptions.  The single mom with no family or support who dotes on her kids, giving more than she really has physically and emotionally to make sure they are provided for.  The husband watching the love of his live wither and fail.  Not caring about anything but her last needs and breaths.  The socially awkward physicist that forgets everything because his brain is just wired differently and can’t fathom the realities of time management and relational directives.

But how many of us are Physicists?

I seek margin.  Space to give, to allow something into my life.  I’ve allowed myself to be so absorbed in the past that I didn’t truly have the room to invite another person, another hobby, another activity in.  But I’m not talking about building trains or playing rec league soccer.   I’m talking about people.  Who I have in my life that’s important, and where I have or don’t have room to add?

If I look back relationally, I’ve done this all wrong.  Find someone.  Throw my already crazy schedule and activities, family life component at them and see if it sticks.  Result?  Often failure.  Definitely anxiety and stress from trying to manage more than would realistically fit into my world at the moment.

Done with that.  If I invite you in to my world, on any level, you’re coming along at a very cool time.  I’ve spent a lot of time digging in to who I am and what I need for me.  Where I can bend, where I need to stand firm and not sacrifice myself.  I know where I have room to grow with someone and allow them to hopefully grow with me.  Find a place in a much more contented structure of Chad than any time in my past.

You may already know your place.   My dearest friends know that I try to be present with them.  To be available, though I do still struggle with this.  If you’re someone new to my circle, I don’t invite you in without knowing that there is a place for you.  Whether you are there for a season or a lifetime.  Though I hope to never lose any of you, I realize that some people weave in and out of our lives like a tapestry.  Creating many hues in a beautiful rainbow of relationships.  There are some I feel may never leave.  Ones that I sometimes want to ‘push off mountains’ or arrange birthday shenanigans for.  My blood, who always have my heart, whether the older two believe it or not.

Life without margin may seem full, but you never know the blessings that come from reaching out to someone and knowing that you can be there (and hope they feel the same).  It allows those easy transitions into learning about another, and it gives you space to be present, emotionally and physically when the Sh*t hits the Fan!  If you read my blog from a few months ago, I wrote about the special relationships who know when to “Just Show Up”.  Can’t really do that without some space to give.

Clear some of the clutter.  And yes, I mean those who hog you, wrap you up around only their small little worlds. Take heed of voices that scream at you to remove, or at least reorganize your priorities with those who may seem fun and full of energy but may also be toxic if there isn’t any depth to them.  Look for those who you can build on their gifts of spirit, mind, body.  

Find your health and continue to grow and those around you will grow too, if they so choose.  I’ve found that pruning relationships (as well as habits, negativity, etc.) that refuse to move forward allows you to blossom into your next season.  And in turn there are times when I need to better help others around me.  Damn, I wish I did better at that.  Working on it!

Keep space for you.  For your own self discovery.  For personal development and to write more of your story.  Travel, sing, dance, breathe deep and dream. There’s tons I could write on my own inner journey, but that’s another blog for another day.

For now.
Keep Margin.