North x Northwest

How does the story end?

I’ve written so much about the past and the present. But what about the future?  Not dreams of the future, but a real, obtainable vision of the future.  This is it people.  But, how does it end?

Mathematically, you can look at a life in the following possible perspectice.  From birth to 20, Spring.  Your twenties to 40 or so, Summer.  Autumn hits around your mid-40s and Winter sets in at your sixth or seventh decade, the “golden years”.  I’ve weathered the first two seasons of my life.  I’m halfway done.  Lived it full, eventful and with some substance.  Lots of ups, maybe a few more downs.  Seen life born, death take.  But that’s the past.  What am I planning for my future?  That's actually a completely different blog, but as for location, location location, well, here it goes.  Started with two possibilities.  Neither one expected.  Neither one anything I would have imagined a month ago.

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.  Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.  The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn."

~ John Muir, The Mountains of California

And as I walked, the spirit in the wilderness came to me.  ‘Go! Go now. It’s time.’”

I have to go.

Where? Well that depends upon what end I want. It’s not an easy decision, but no matter, I need to move on.  To leave Atlanta. I need to leave this place so full of memories but also so full of hurts and sadness.  My two older kids are just about grown.  Little man far away.  And I find that I’m often sick and battle mental health and depression more here. I also find as I travel north I get well. I start to feel myself, feel my spirit and I don’t feel suffocated by the feelings that won’t let go, or the past that those around may not want me to let go of.  As I’ve shared this thought with a few others, I’ve been told what I “should do”.  But those are outside voices and though I am thankful for those who care, ultimately there are only two voices that matter. One I hear all too clearly as I’m here, amongst the mountains and in the meadows.  The other beats in my chest with every breath. ‘The mountains are calling’ (John Muir).  Just have to figure out which ones.

So, as most great stories end,  there comes a new beginning...

Inigo Montoya:

“Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.”

Westley:

“Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.”

~ from The Princess Bride

Northwest, here I come.