the dark

It comes. 

Whether I want it to or not.

the dark.

It doesn’t come as often.  It doesn’t stay as long, but it still comes in like a dark cloud and sits.  Sits over my days and on my emotions.  And it doesn’t just go away. 

I pray.  Lean into God. 

I reach out now.  There were times in the past when I just dug a big hole to hide in.  Scared and alone.

 - - - - -

The people around me know what’s going on. 

It’s not subtle, it’s not easy, and it fucking sucks. 

For a day.  Maybe two or three. 

It comes. 

And it’s here right now.  I’m not crazy; I’m not losing my shit.  I’m just being honest, and it’s okay.

It’s going to be okay. 

Resting, but not wallowing; hurting, but not hurting myself. 

It’s a wave that I’ll ride.  Then the sun will come up and I’ll be okay. 

I know what to do now.  I know who to talk to, and I know how to keep it real.
 

 - - - - -

I retreat a little more when it’s like this.  Only wanting to be around those who know and understand. 

I am one of many.  I’m not alone.  There are so many others out there who understand the dark cloud of depression much better than I do.  Many others who are walking through this one day at a time. 

Mental health is a real thing.  How many of us have deficits there?

Don’t be scared.  Be brave.  Be open and let those who care about you know. 

Don’t take it for granted though, because it’ll fucking kill you.  It’ll end you if you don’t do the things. 

Talk to others. 

Journal. 

Pray. 

Walk. 

Breathe. 

Breathe again.

And sit in silence, knowing that it’s going to move on. 

“The sun’ll come up…

…tomorrow”

~ Peace

The Burtle