the Hallmark ending

It’s a myth. 

It’s fabricated, conceived out of the notion that life can end up in a nice, tidy package with a perfect bow. 

It’s a lie. 

The Hallmark ending is a lie. 

Before I go any further, I love Hallmark movies. I watch them as soon as they come on in the fall and winter (a current favorite is October Kiss) . I’ll watch them in the spring and summer. I really adore them - often as I say how stupid and WRONG they are at the same time! They are easy watches with simple twists, and always resolve in a nice,  heartwarming ending. 

But life is so much harder. Life takes a lot more work and it doesn’t resolve in 90 minutes. 

I think the only way to get something that resembles a Hallmark movie is to work every day at not having a Hallmark movie. 

Hear me out. I don’t mean that there can’t be moments. Moments when a first kiss comes, moments of tension resolved in laughter, a moment when someone shows up. That’s probably the biggest desire of my heart - to know that when something falls apart there is one special person that shows up. When you’re trying to make a hard decision or face something BIG, that person you love and trust is there. 

But isn’t that just called relationship? 

And relationships are hard. They take WORK. They take opening our insides to work through things that we would never work through on our own. Having to listen and bend while growing with someone?

Is that the problem that some of us face? That we look at those movies, romantic comedies, even action hero movies where things resolve in the end and think that’s how life works. And sometimes it does. I’m not cutting on the happy ending. 

I want the happy ending. 

But the happy ending takes a hell of a lot of work in the beginning, in the middle, on the hard days, on the days where you just don’t like the other person but you still love them, on the days when you know you need to be there for them because they’re a crying, soppy mess; on the days when you just don’t want to and you still do. 

The Hallmark ending isn’t real. 

But a relationship built upon love, trust, kindness, all the virtues of 1st Corinthians; that relationship has a potential to have multiple Hallmark moments throughout the entire relationship. And instead of looking for some spectacular explosion of emotions, to just be honestly known and loved by someone. 

Also, it takes faith. 

Faith in another human being, but also faith in something bigger. Something that guides and helps get through those hard times. Because your partner, wife, husband, they may not be there for everything. There are times when we have to reach down inside and reach for something bigger. Maybe God?

So maybe instead of having a Hallmark ending, we should be looking for Hallmark beginnings. Simple gestures, showing up, listening, loving, just being known. 

~ Peace

The Burtle