hard

Sometimes it seems like you just have too much in front of you - not enough in your soul to make the climb.

It's hard.

I stood at the trailhead to Rabun Bald, Georgia's second highest mountain and wondered if I had it in me.  3 Miles.  2500 feet in elevation.  It was there in front of me and I had to decide if I was truly up for the trek up to the summit.  

I could have bailed.  It's hard.  I could have just turned back to the car and went down.

But hadn't there been other times in my life like this?  When the mountain lay before me and I had to decide to stand up and walk or sit down and give in.

I've been called many things in my life.  Quirky, stubborn, loco, loud (among many others), but NEVER a quitter.  I've always tried to push through the hurts and the pain of life and try to find the moments of levity and strength that help us move forward.  Rabun Bald was just another trail.  Another climb to move over an obstacle to the beautiful view that lay at it's peak.

So this weekend I found myself at a trailhead of another type.  I found myself needing to be Honest and open with someone I've grown to really care for.  While I was in Savannah at the state music convention I found myself in the midst of a decision and a pledge to open my heart to all that I just hadn't been able to say.  There were so many times that I had tried, but never was I able to find the words and voice them.

I walked the streets of Savannah late one night and into the morning.  I always find so much strength and solace in fresh air - whether it be on a mountain or in the Urban skyline.  I found myself longing to do more than just think about things.  I was ready to act.

And it would be hard.

But my heart came to the point of moving beyond the fear and doubts that held me back and I was resolved that I could do this.  

Sharing your heart and soul with another person can be one of the hardest tasks that we ever face.  There is so much longing for things to not be disrupted by bad news or trials that we push those things down and away.  Hoping they will just go away, while stagnating any growth in a relationship.

It was hard.  But I sat down in one of those intimate moments and shared my heart.  I was honest.  I waited to see if this would be the end...

I started up the trail, knowing that no matter what the outcome I would traverse this mountain.  Like so many of the physical mountains I had climbed, I would take it one step at a time and persevere til I reached the top.