Child in a Corner...

It's the image of a child balled up in a corner of a dark room.  Like one of those gothic, psychological thrillers with a young tortured soul pulled away from anything that we might consider normal or healthy.

Something terrible has happened or is happening, but all we see is this young boy with his knees to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs - shaking and moving back and forth.  Fear isn't a strong enough word.  Frightened won't come close to describing the torment inside.

But is this reality?

And then the view pulls back to reveal that all this is stirring in the mind of an adult male.  It's the past - that's where that terrible thing happened.  The little boy that still can't always face the battles that wage everyday still runs.  Still hides.  Still needs time to heal.

Back to the image.

Now the boy stops sobbing.  The YEARS of lying dormant in the fetal position are done.  It's one of the hardest wars fought.  The war with what rips and tears at our spirit inside.  Some succumb to it.  Some can't find peace, ever.  Some are destined to be paralyzed by anything that reminds them of this past.

He just can't keep living, if you call it living, this way.  

There is light coming from under the door.  The noises that drove him to hide have ceased.  His knees, arms and legs are sore from staying so long in such an unhealthy position.  Carefully he stands and takes a step.  The movement is more than a boy moving to the light.  It's the adult man's thoughts moving from hidden deep inside to the spoken word.  To telling someone his hurts.  His need to find others that understand and will listen.  To not isolate and slowly wither away, but to Commune with those who 'get it' and to LIVE.

I am that man.  I still find myself wanting to hide from the hurts.  I found that this morning.  I was struck by something that could have paralyzed me, but I was able to look to someone I care about and just tell them.  To talk and to find solace in the sharing.

There are times when we need someone else to be a catalyst to this.  To help us pull from the darkness.  Kind of like when Patrick Swazye comes into the last scene of Dirty Dancing.... "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."  Ok, that may be pushing it a little.  LOL!

I'm learning that there is a desire in me to help others who struggle with these hurts.  I don't in any way mean to start playing God.  That is the one source that I know conquers all of the fears that indwell, but I am considering how to be part of some help for those who have had similar struggles.  Who knows?!  

I don't want to see the hurt continue when I know that there is so much good out there to hold on to.

Maybe I can be a catalyst to others to 'come out of the corner'.