Picket Fences

See them everywhere...

Fences surround our houses, gardens, schools, parks.  They form a firm barrier and boundary to mark property lines.  I've owned a house with one of those pretty white picket fences around it.

They can keep others out or guard the 'riches' that lay just inside

And the sign says anyone caught trespassing, will be shot on sight

so I jumped the fence and yelled at the house, what gives you the right

to put up a fence to keep me out, or to keep mother nature in

if God was here he'd tell it to your face, Man your some type of sinner

Those physical fences that I've come up against can be based upon race, social status, club membership or just a desire to be alone.  These bother me at times, but the fences that I fear more are the ones that I find right inside my heart.

When I'm scared, the gate to my fence starts to close quickly.  I don't want to be open and unguarded when my spirit seems to feel under attack.  That fence that I've spent so much time erecting and fortifying has a purpose that isn't decoration.  I have used it over the years to try and hide behind.  To keep out everything from my pains, my family to God himself.  I still can retreat there when I'm wounded.  

But the wall....I mean fence that I've built isn't quite the same as it was many years ago.  Hell, even last year it looked so different.

When I first started hiding myself it was a STRONGHOLD.  An all encompassing structure that had no windows, no crevices that could be even permeated by light.  It was to protect a fragile little boy.  That fence and all that it was about stood too long.  But it eventually came down and was replaced by one of those 8 foot privacy fences, with barbed wire around the top and vicious attack dogs patrolling the perimeter.  

As I've moved forward in life, I'm so glad that my fence has evolved.  Oh, still get really scared at times and retreat.  But it's behind this small, white picket fence that doesn't hide me from the world or attempt to keep me from LIVING.  It is a place of refuge.  A place where I know that I'm ok to go for just a bit.  To rest and regroup.  To breathe a DEEP breath and know that God is looking down on me and smiling.