So I’ve decided to do something a little different. Not overlooking my kids or those closest to me, but honestly, I just absolutely hate Christmas. I hate what we’ve made it into, and I hate that I feel very little joy around it. Sure, it’s the birthday of ‘Christ our King’, ‘Jesus Christ’, ‘the Savior’, all those titles. But what if it doesn’t resonate with you? And it doesn’t have to resonate for you to have faith. It really isn’t about that. “It’s a trap!” Like Colonel Akbar calling out to those going into the second death star. December becomes our trap. And I know that many are festive and jolly, and I am thankful that those people exist. They counter for me and my Scrooge, Grinch, “what the hell are we doing this?” beliefs. But you don’t have to be anything other than yourself. And I know that I’M NOT ALONE IN THIS!
The Story talks about a boy being born, and it talks about simple. It doesn’t talk about gifts until later in the story when three Wisemen from come from afar (‘a fire’ if you’re from the south) to worship. Well I don’t know that I even do that well, the worshiping, because my faith is entrenched so much in the spirit and prayers echoed in the mountains that sometimes it’s hard to join in our modern-day corporate worship. Really hard. But I woke up this morning, still fighting bronchitis, still a little down, trying to figure out how in the hell I can make a difference.
It’s simple, in the bigger scope of the world it’s sometimes hard to see that we’re making a difference, but in my neighborhood, the places that I live in, shop in, I have the ability to do much more. So Walmart was my first stop. I got the two or three items that I needed, and I paced up and down the checkout aisles until I found someone I thought was the right person. A mother with a teenage daughter and a little 3 1/2 year-old boy. I have one of those. I struck up a short conversation about her son, said merry Christmas, and then before she could finish unloading her cart, I said “Ma’am can I do something for you. Can I buy your groceries?”
She gave me a hug, she teared up and allowed me to buy them. Hugging me again before we parted ways. I felt a little something. What I really want is to feel something about the stupid fucking holiday.
I got back in my truck and cried. My kids really don’t need excess. They’re going to have a good Christmas no matter what. I hate this holiday, but maybe I can do something a little better than just buying more stuff to break and throw away down the road.
My second stop was at one of the local Grocery stores. Similar situation. It’s incredibly heartwarming to see the look on a person’s face when they realize you’re for real. I simply paid for their groceries, walked out and got in my truck. No expectations, just trying to do a good deed.
I’m on stop number three. Kroger #2. Hope I can show a little more compassion and Christmas spirit, and might actually feel something “Grinch-like” in the process (remember his heart grew three sizes that day!”)
Merry Christmas!
No comments:
Post a Comment