I Hope You Fail.

I want you to fail…

at least once in your life, if not multiple times, just maybe not as many times as I have. 

I want you to fall on your face and realize you’re not enough. Because we’re not. Not alone. No matter how incredibly healthy, intelligent, wickedly smart and full of ourselves, we need each other. Because sometimes in our failing we learn about ourselves, we learn about those around us, those who will actually show up. We learn about life. 

People who’ve never failed scare the fuck out of me. How in the world can you go through life without ever having to get up off of your knees? Look, I’m not advising you to bottom. I can give you that story and it’s not pretty. But failing is part of life. How many attempts did NASA have trying to get a rocket into space? How many times did Abraham Lincoln try to win a political office? How many times have I picked myself up,  brushed off the dirt and realized it was time to begin again? I don’t think we set out to fail, but I do think we often times set out to not fail. To not falter. To not have any hardship. And that’s just not life. Fear and contentment can keep us in a world of mediocrity and lack of growth.

If your life has never been hard, who the fuck are you and what are you drinking? I’m sorry to sound harsh, but everyone has a struggle. Addiction, mental health, family dynamics, divorce, health issues, hell, all of them!! Spiritual disease and abuse?

Here’s the other side… today I am truly thankful for my failings. Even the hard ones. I’ve struggled this week with being an absent parent. That’s how I feel at times. My two older kids are coming up upon the eight year anniversary of their mom tragically passing. They were 15 and 16 when it happened. How in the hell do you walk through that? I don’t know. I never know what to say. My youngest lives across the country and even though we chat every day on FaceTime, only seeing his face on the screen just screams “I’m not enough”. And maybe I’m not? I feel like a failure in that area. And yet my mentor told me yesterday “that’s just dealing with life”. And we all deal with life. Again, you ‘bubble people’ don’t have to read any further… 

What’s your challenge? And how do you face it? What is the area that looms over you? That traumatizes you and makes you freeze, or it makes you run for the hills? I had three men who I consider guides along the way as I was getting back on my feet in 2020. A counselor and two mentors who took a stranger by the hand and said “it’s going to be okay”. My life is much better, even on cold nights with the heat doesn’t really seem to work. I get to get up and breathe. I get to live. And I’ve still had my failings, but they are less and they are less drastic. And I’m trying to learn from them. One step at a time.

End it seems that the right people have been there when I need help. That I’m not alone.

So, if you’re struggling, it’s okay. You’re not alone. And if you’re falling… There’s someone who will be there. You may not believe in God, but I do. my God put those three men in my life and continues to show up. Maybe you need to find your own higher power? I suggest starting with looking within. And then realizing you don’t have to be alone. 

I’m here. Reach out if you need anything

I hope you fail.

And grow into something even more beautiful.

~ Peace

The Burtle