I lift my eyes to the hills...

So there is this spiritual journey that continues to move through me.

I have seen it over my life, and it still moves through, with and around me today.  The more I listen though, doesn't automatically bring peace.

I may lift my eyes up.  But when on the journey, that means that often I am climbing towards the peak in front of me.  It's easy to just look up, but when "up" is the destination, the journey is more than just a place we're destined for.  It is a movement that we have to take on for ourselves that moves us up - closer to His presence.

"where does my help come from?"

God.  

Simple.  Concise.  Undeniable.

BUT, that doesn't mean easy.  Especially when you're dealing with a stubborn ape like me!

I fought Him today.  I cursed.  I screamed.  I found myself arguing with what I knew was the truth.  I have never been one to just accept.  I challenge inside everything that He stands for.  I hate the unknown, and well, God represents some pretty strong truths, but there is trusting the unseen..

So as I went up the mountain, I talked.  I found myself away from the group.  Alone with Him I don't just accept.  I get angry, sad, lost, found, weeping and singing.  A mix of the thoughts and prayers that I have and  a deep yearning for MORE.

I made it to the top.  I don't give up easily.  I long for MORE of this.  Yes, MORE of the struggling through my beliefs until I know that they are truly what I BELIEVE.  MORE looking for solid truths that resonate both on the trail and in life back in the world.

"My help comes from the Lord."