Friday, May 24, 2013

Eric


He was the best of us.

I hope I don't offend any of the Martin cousins with that statement.  But quite frankly it's something I believed before May of 1997 and still hold to today.

All of us were practically raised together.  Myself, my brother Kit, cousins Matt and Eric were the oldest of the crew with Ashley, Kenny, Alex, Morgan, Alie and Aby following behind.  I can't remember many early childhood memories without at least one of you present.  I do love each of you, but today, this is about Eric.

It was my first year of teaching and I was already miserable in a marriage that I just didn't like.  I got the call from my aunt and without hesitation we raced to Kennestone Hospital to see what had happened.

He was a beautiful kid, but really more a man.  Strong.  Witty.  Bright.  With a little bit of swagger that made you smile instead of pissing you off.

He was passionate about his beliefs.  I always envied that.  I still struggle in this.  He seemed to get it.  Knew exactly how to connect with God and also connect with others at his Church.

He was an Athlete.  I remember him showing his "guns" at the last family gathering I saw him at.

And I envied just about every part of who he was.  

It was an angry time for me and I know that one of the staff at Burnt Hickory Baptist Church just about got clocked when he tried to keep me from going into the waiting room.  This was my cousin, my brother, my family - we'd been raised so close as kids that there was still a sense that we'd always have each other. 

I couldn't believe it.  Still don't fathom why.  I've asked myself many times since then "why him? why coudn't you have taken me?  anyone else?"

I've asked God that again tonight.  Why would you take this precious kid, this young man on the verge of doing something truly special?  

Then I have to remember two things from that time:

First was the vigil that was taking place in the lobby of the hospital - just below us.  It was amazing.  ALL these kids, teenagers there gathered in a circle - and not just 10 or 15, more like 75 or so.  They were there for Eric.

The second was the service.  I hate funerals.  And I didn't enjoy the service, but to see that church FILLED and overflowing with all these people...

...all for a kid who hadn't scratched 17 years here.


His brother Matt is now the Youth Pastor at that same church.  He pursues kids' hearts.  I wonder if he sees his brother in any of them?

I know I am still seeking where my place is.  Haven't really found it, but I do know that I want my kids to hear a little about Eric.  

Maybe they'll see some of him in my eyes...


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